28 Mar 2015
Sex is more exciting on the screen and between the pages than between the sheets”source unknown
How true the above quote is if we look at the increasing number of couples or men and women coming in with sexual problems not of biological origin but having their basis in their thoughts and emotions related to the act of love making or sex. Even though we imagine ourselves to be living in a very modern and open and liberated society where live in relationships are the latest trend and most forms of sexual preferences and relationships are being accepted, more and more people are complaining about some form of psychosexual problems. This means that there are many people who have unsatisfactory sex lives which is one of biggest causes of stress-for ones health and in one’s relationship too.
What is Psychosexual Dysfunction
The inability to become sexually aroused or enjoy ones sexual life or attain sexual satisfaction in the appropriate situations because of emotional or psychological reasons is termed as psychosexual dysfunction. Psychosexual dysfunction is very much treatable and curable and do not threaten your life in any way but still people shy away or even live in denial that they could have a problem in the way they experience or perform in their sexual relations, especially men for they associate their sexual performance to their manliness. Both men and women may actually seek help when it becomes a source of conflict in their relationship.
Even if people do contact a professional it is there general physician who may not be able to guide them appropriately other than offering biological tests or a routine check up which may not give an accurate analysis of the issue at hand. Psychosexual clinics or sex therapists not only have a depth of understanding of psychosexual difficulties and also possess the therapeutic interventions to help you have the satisfactory sex life you desire.
To seek help you must be aware about the signs and symptoms of psycho sexual dysfunction. The symptoms listed may sometime have an organic or biological reason and proper investigation may help.
Common Psychosexual problems seen in Men
Erection does not last long
Premature Ejaculation (occur too soon) where the seminal fluid is ejaculated sooner than partner reaches orgasm or even during foreplay
Unable to Ejaculate
Unable to be aroused even with proper and adequate stimulation
Unable to experience orgasm
Limited or inhibited sexual desire
Psychosexual dysfunction symptoms in women
Lack of sexual arousal despite appropriate and adequate stimulation
Not able to achieve orgasm
Lack of sexual desire
Vaginismus—an unconscious painful spasm, or tightening of the muscles around the vagina stopping penetration.
Experiencing pain during sex
Lack of adequate natural lubrication / dry vagina leading to discomfort and painful sex
What causes these symptoms?
Some of the psychological conditions which lead to psychosexual dysfunction include:
Depression: People suffering from depression may have inhibited sexual desire or difficulties with sexual arousal despite stimulation
Mania/psychotic disorders : Some of the psychological disorders have hyper sexuality or high need for sexual contact
Feelings of nervousness, fear, or worry regarding sex: These feelings in a newly wed couple or couple indulging in sexual intercourse for the first time, the initial sexual contact may not be satisfying for both or either of the partners and this may lead to developing an association between poor performance and self esteem issues by either of the partners leading to a dissatisfying sexual life.
Traumatic sexual experience: Experiences such as abuse or rape may lead to extreme fear manifesting in symptoms like vaginsmus and dry vagina in women or inhibited sexual disorder in men and women both.
Guilty feelings: Lot of young people who masturbate or indulge in sexual experimentation may have guilt feelings associated with such behavior due to religious or cultural norms and may develop guilt feelings around it leading to a symptoms like premature ejaculation or lack of sustained erection or inhibhited sexual disorders
Stress: It is one of the most common factors affecting sexual lives of many couples today. Work stress , working at odd times of the day and a general increase in daily stresses lead to no time and lack of arousal or inhbhited sexual desires.
Negative body image : people having poor body image or those who find themselves unattractive may find it difficult to “expose” their bodies and indulge in an otherwise enjoyable sexual life.
How to Enjoy and get the spark back
There are no known methods or ways to avoid suffering from psychosexual dysfunction. Accepting this is as problem to seek help for is the first step. You have to come over the shyness and stigma associated with psychosexual issues and consider it just like any other medical or psychological problems you may be having. The plan to visit a professional (marriage therapist, sex therapist, behavior therapist gynarcologist) for proper guidance that would help you enjoy your sexual life.
Some other tips are:
Be aware and be wary of your own traits or external situations that may cause excessive stress and work on addressing it and also work on your coping skills if you anticipate a stressful situation to arise in the future.
Spend quality time with your partner which should be nonsexual intimate time to get to know your partner well and to develop a comfort level and confidence in each other which will help maintain the relationship. This will mostly lead to increase sexual interest in each other.
Talking about your sexual fantasies and where you would like to be touched would enhance your partners understanding about you and ask your partner about their preferences to make it a memorable experience. Talking sex is a part of foreplay so once you develop this comfort level it would lead to both adequate sexual arousal and increased sexual desires for each other
Have a lot of touch time with each other say holding hands or kissing or just giving each other massages to get comfortable with each other. This is very important for mutualy satisfying sexual relationship. Include a lot of humour around sexual acts and just have fun touching each other without having a intercourse till both of you become comfortable with each other.
Most importantly have a lot of respect and give each other time to open up and share any concerns regarding sex so as to work on them together rather than using these signs and symptoms against each other in an argument or to make fun of each other.
Tags: #sexual #psychosexual