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From being the nicest man when alone with me, he used to act like I was not even visible when with people.
From being all caring, all the time around me, he would unconcerned.
To this the therapist said, while I AGREE that when you are in a bigger group and all people who are those that you love, giving attention to one may be difficult. But we also need to see if this treatment, if this disconnect is fair and how it impacts the other person.
So let's try an exercise for the next few days, your wife also will have flickering attention on you, some days she will be involved with you and on other days just like you get busy, she would and just see how it feels.
And that's how it started.
I was attentive towards him, always around him on some days and then on other days even when he wanted to be around me, irrespective of his feelings, I would ignore him and be busy in my own stuff. For one or two days, he was OK with this, but as 3-4 days passed, he got very irritated, he felt IGNORED and even insulted, confused of whether I was there for him or not and if I was, why did I change so frequently. THAT Feeling of isolation was taking a toll on him... He did not feel happy..
He felt cornered, he felt insulted, unloved and confused ,even though he knew this was an exercise of role playing and it was not reality, not reality of my ignorance towards him..
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