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I want my wife & my mom, I don't want to make a choice

04 May 2017

 

There must be some truth in all those anti-marriage jokes men crack often. If you're caught between the woman who raised you and the woman with whom you have to spend your life with, then you absolutely know what I am taking about. If you are a man you will be able to connect with my feelings and dilemma.

I don’t know how to balance being a good son and a good husband. I try my best but it is very difficult. Whatever I do somehow or the other backfires and I am left feeling hurt. I am at the receiving end every time and no matter how I handle it ,I get blamed. I end up upsetting my wife or my mom.

My mother has become more possessive after I got married. If I try to say anything on my wife’s behalf, it only makes things worse. I forcibly have to stay diplomatic.

My wife reminds me again and again that she left her family and city to stay with me so I should support her more in front of my mother. I have tried my level best to maintain a balance  between them. I really have. Nothing is helping. I have tried my level best to not favor one over the other or put any of them down.

Yet their differences are unsolvable. They don’t get along with eachother and I am not able to do anything to resolve the issues.

My wife calls me a ‘mamma’s boy’ and my mother says I have changed after I got married. She feels my wife has stolen me from her. I feel stuck between the two. I love both of them equally. 

One gave me birth and raised me amongst all difficulties on the other hand there is my companion for life who needs me now.

If after coming back from a long day at work I sit and talk with my mother for 15 minutes, my wife gets agitated saying I don’t give her any time turning it into a mini world war. Whereas she talks to her mom for one hour everyday on phone. Why this difference?

My mother acts the same. When my sister’s husband comes home and values my parents he is a gem, but if I do the same, I am the devil. So you see how I am dragged from both the sides.

I am the insensitive thankless son and a husband. I am torn between two people who mean the world to me.

I wish both could live together amicably. I have responsibilities towards both and I am taking care of it well but the home politics is beyond me.

I don’t want to fight or argue with either.  Why must we make a choice? I don’t want to. If I have to make a choice, I will choose my wife, no doubt.

She needs me now and I have to start a life but the question remains, why should I choose between the two.... How can this pain, this agony stop, how? 

I really have become shattered and pained with this... I really have

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Tags: #woman #wife #love #choice #why