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OPINION: Life Is Mean… So I Became Even Meaner!

04 May 2017

I learnt it the hard way. Not every person is nice. Life is not fair. Situations sometimes bring you down to your knees. And to fight back, you just have to be angrier, meaner and more spiteful than those around you.

I know it’s the worst lesson anybody can garner from life. But unfortunately, that is what stuck with me. And that is what helps me.

I never could adjust with my husband. We decided to part ways after struggling together for four years. The case is still going on in the court. He refuses to give me a mutual divorce, and tries to paint me as a woman with a bad character. He wants society to think he’s an amazing husband. Every time I have to attend the hearings, sit and listen to his claims, I burn with anger.

Should I just take it lying down? Of course not! Not anymore. If he can character assassinate me, if he can destroy me so can I. He has used this system of patriarchy against me. Just because, I worked in a construction company, he painted me as a woman who could do anything to get success. He sheds crocodile tears. Reality was that he couldn’t tame me. He couldn’t make me earn less than him. He couldn’t let me his slave... And when he started becoming this obnoxious person and I asked for divorce, his male ego took a beating.

So now having looked at all that he has done, I too have decided to be meaner! I have told everyone that he beat me and forced me to have an abortion… truth is none of that happened. But I’m just fighting lies with lies… all’s fair in war, right? Why should I be made a villain? He knows I am attacking his reputation and it is only a matter of time before he gives up. I wasted four years of my life

Of course, being separated from him doesn’t mean I’m living this happy and amazing life. I have other demons too… good thing is that I can also be a demon myself!

My relatives—especially my aunt—gossip because I have returned to my parents’ place. And they not only say this to my face, but also go behind my back and talk to my parents. So I decided to do a little bit of investigation….on my aunt’s children, my dear cousins. It was so very easy. After just a few hours of searching on social media I found out some pretty interesting details about my sanskari cousin sister, including a photo of her smoking in a club and a Facebook post in which a younger guy mentioned a weekend in Manali. When I sweetly told my aunt what I’d found and to keep HER daughter in control… you should have seen her face. She sure shut up after that.


Meanwhile, I started living on my own, to save my parents the neighbours’ gossip. What I got in return was being called vile names behind my back from the society members.

This after being refused a place to rent many times due to my “separated” status. I didn’t bother to say anything to them… I just pulled some strings and got a cop friend to threaten them. Again, that shut them up.

I can still sense the stigma, but no one dares to mess with me… and that’s still progress, according to me.

What I have learnt from all these experiences is that life is unfair. It is mean. And people around you suck the happiness from your very core.

Why wouldn’t I become a spiteful person from all this? I know I have changed a lot in the past few years. I have become malicious, venomous, aggressive. But I don’t have any other choice. Being angry and spiteful has become my defense mechanism. Life is mean. To survive it, you have to get meaner.

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Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. The facts and opinions appearing in the article do not reflect the views of EPsyClinic and IWILL and EPsyClinic and IWILL does not assume any responsibility or liability for the same.

Tags: #Meanness #WhatToDo #Survive