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My mother in law and I Bond well but my sister in law ruins It

03 May 2017

I am a working woman. I have a flourishing career and my mother in law is a simple lady. She hasn’t been all that bad to me. Initial days of marriage were tumultuous. She was somewhat uncomfortable with me and somewhat rude. But my husband played a great role. He stood by me and also made sure, I have a position at his home. He made sure, I am respected and people accept me for who I am.

Things did start getting well and my mother in law and I bond well. We are not as close as my mother is to me. But she is still nice. We share a healthy laugh together. If we have to go out together, she makes sure I feel in sync.

All of it was fine until my sister in law visited us. I am all for equality and really do believe that this home is more of my sister in law than of me or my brother. But she came and ruined it for me.

Ever since she has come, she tells weird things. Like last week she said to her mom, you have gone so weak. I think I am not her so no one takes care of you. Then she turned to my husband and said, I know you have your new life but mom is your responsibility. Are you taking care of her? He snapped at her but I did notice his mother’s face changing.

She keeps telling her how good mother in law she is and how much she is doing. She also says things about me. Of course they are in indirect but things like it’s easy for her. She can work because she has you. You are so nice mom that you have completely given away bhai. No one would do this in your place.

Now I see my mother in law has stopped talking to me freely. She showers all the care on her daughter. I feel left out. They don’t ask me to go with them anymore.

It pains to see that how things have changed in a week. My mother in law used to make coffee for me. My sister in law made a big fuss about it. She said how it’s not right for me to expect my mom to do things for her. But this is simple parental care. What’s wrong in this if she was doing it for me?

She makes a remark on everything and keeps sharing her sob stories with her mother. They can share whatever they have to but the pain starts when she starts injecting feelings of guilt in her brother, as though by being a good husband he is doing something wrong.  What I don’t like is how she makes her mother feel bad about me. How she says things which are not true.

Like I used to do things for my mother in law, just like I did for my mom. How can anyone find something negative in this? The other day my mom in law asked Sumit to get her glasses repaired. I said, I would do that since Sumit may get late.  What can be bad in this?

But my sister in law told her that don’t let bhabhi take away all work for you that bhai did.  This way Sumit will stop caring for you and then you would be at the mercy of bhabhi. What if she later takes your advantage?

Can you believe someone to have this line of thinking?

I am not taking advantage of her innocence. I have done enough to gain a friendship. I did enough to gain love and respect.

I feel bad that this bond between my mother in law is so breakable. A bond that can be broken or ruined by someone’s feeding. That wouldn’t have happened in the case of my own parents...

But in this case, a distance has crept in. I know this because yesterday I asked my mother in law something. She said “YOU DONT HAVE TO WORRY. YOU MANAGE YOUR OWN THINGS. I WILL ASK MY SON”.  I was stunned and I am feeling very hurt...

Don’t know what to do... Any suggestions?

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Tags: #Pain #SisterInLaw