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I Don’t Enjoy Playing With My Kids. And I Will Not Feel Guilty About It

02 May 2017

“Mom! Mom! Can you make a Lego bed for my doll house?  Oh but let's feed and bathe the Barbie first!”

Many mothers I know are happy to run to their child upon such demands. “Yes, my darling,” they says. “We’ll have so much fun.”

I am not one of those mothers.

In fact whenever my children beckon me to play with dolls or action figures, my heart sinks.

Please don’t get me wrong here.

Trust me when I say I love my children. I love their innocence. I love spending my day with them. I am a very hands-on mom. I am all for spending quality time with them. I read stories to them every day. I talk to them constantly. Go out to park. I love carrying them in my arms and holding them close. We generally enjoy being with each other. But there is one thing that I absolutely loathe. I hate playing with them. Judge me all you all want but it bores me to tears. I feel proud and happy to see them build castles out of Lego blocks, but when they ask me to actively join in, I want to run away (and sometimes I do!). I just have no patience to “be a kid with the kids”.  I am an adult and I can only do things that suit adults.

Should I feel guilty about this? People call me selfish and even my husband doesn’t quite understand. He accuses me of “rejecting” their invitations. I felt bad for a long time but all of it doesn’t bother me now. I know how I am what I am capable of. They are growing really well. I have no guilt or regret. In fact, they have learned to play in a self-directed way without adult intervention and this I think makes them more creative. I have also told them that Mama loves to spend time with them, but Mama draws the line at playing teacher-teacher with Barbie and Ken. They understand! More than other adults do!

My kids experience every day how much I care for them and how much I am interested in them. Of course they do try and get me to play with them and sometimes I have no choice but to be roped in, but I just can’t get away fast enough. I’d rather shell a million peas than pretend to be a tractor or superman. I think they need to figure out their own games and I should be no more and no less than a loving supervisor.

And just to make it clear: I have nothing against moms who play with their kids. In fact I respect them for their huge amount of patience. But each mother is different. There is no right or wrong way. I know I am not wrong either. This is how I have decided to parent my child.  And your frowns do not make me feel guilty. In the end we all want the best for our children. I rather take them to play areas or playdates where they can meet their own age group and play with each other. I call their friends home more often and they enjoy themselves more.

Me playing half-heartedly with zero patience won’t help at all. They end up losing interest too. This works well for us and I am proud of my parenting ways. I am here to love them and nurture them at every step. I do this job beautifully. There is no way you can make me feel guilty!

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Tags: #Mom #NoGuilt