My Wife Convinced Everyone That I Beat Her. Now I Know Why She Did This?
01 May 2017
I didn’t want to check my Facebook notifications anymore. There were hundreds of them. I was probably a big villain by now for everyone. My wife—who has been staying away from me for several months— had already tarnished my image everywhere but this was the last straw. She had made a post on Facebook about her horrible marital life! Now I am that horrible husband who has been beating her for years. Oh hell! I am a domestic abuser now.
Please believe me, I have never done any such thing. I have been angry, yes. I have yelled, yes. But I have never hit or pushed or even touched her in a wrong way. I have never done it. It’s just not the kind of person I am.
I also never thought she was the kind of person who would lie to get what she wants.
I am shocked. How could she do this to me? I knew she had been complaining to neighbours and relatives about my bad behavior and extra-marital affairs but this was too much. She had written how I have been beating her mercilessly. All of it was absolutely baseless and untrue. But is there anything known as a “suffering” husband? How the hell do I clear by name now? I’m a man so everyone automatically assumes that I am the guilty party.
Why is she after me? Because I want a divorce, and she doesn’t.
I got married to Supriya three years back. It was an arranged marriage. We tried hard but we never managed to fall in love with each other. We had our differences and couldn’t compromise. There was no compatibility and after three years of trial and error I gave up. We both were young and educated. Supriya was earning well and was independent. She was a strong woman. I felt moving on for both of us would be the best solution. All I wanted was a mutual divorce. We were mature enough and I never imagined this would be that tough. The day I mentioned divorce to Supriya she just lost it. She knew we were incompatible but she felt I would ruin her “reputation” by divorcing her. After two days of fighting and failing to change my mind, she stopped talking to me. Within a week she had moved back to her parents’ home.
And that’s when the slander campaign began.
My character was questioned. My relatives started seeing me with disgust. Many called me inhuman and selfish. Suddenly I became that horrible guy you see in movies and serials. I was not like this. I had never disrespected her, cheated on her or wronged her in any way. Yet, she was all set on proving that I was torturing her.
When I spoke to her about it, she gave me a choice. “Halt the divorce proceedings or I will make your life hell.”
The Facebook post had taken it to another level. It was hard for me to answer people now. Who trusts the man? Our society will never give me any chance to prove myself. I was reading the comments on her post. They were full of hatred towards me and said how it’s easy for men to move on. I read 8-9 of them and few things caught my eye and my mind. Most were talking about how tough it would be for her to move on and how society questions and does not favour women. Everyone was consoling her, calling her strong and assuring her that it wasn’t her fault. She had lot of support there.
By this time I was regularly speaking to a counsellor.
And as I narrated the Facebook story, this counsellor gave me insights about my wife that hit me hard.
The counsellor explained that my wife was probably doing this only because our society holds women responsible and not men. It was true it would be easier for a man to move on. She would have more hardships. She was scared of family and relatives too. She was desperate to clear her name. And in that desperate move she had made me the villain publically. She didn’t want anyone to think it was her fault.
From that position of understanding, I finally approached my wife for a civilised conversation. I spoke to her without anger even though it was hard to keep my cool. I told her why handling it maturely would be better for both of us. I assured her I would never put the blame on her. It was tough for me but I needed my peace too.
Seeing that I understood her concerns, she took down that post finally and agreed to the divorce, albeit with a hefty settlement. I was just relieved it was over.
But let me tell you one thing before I sign off: society can be equally hard on men.
Tags: #ManSlander #Depression #Hurt