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Don’t over-dramatize it’s just a simple family issue. Really?

01 May 2017

It’s been 5 months since I got married. Things at home have been nothing short of hell for me.

I am a woman with a well paying job in financial sector. Average looking person, things I had in abundance, confidence and belief that I can be anything... My parents had me and my brother. They never made me feel I was in anyway different than my brother. I had same responsibilities as him and we were expected to contribute in all tasks at home equally. So I was brought up with very good family values.

I fell in love with Aakash, my husband now during our post-graduation years. Our marriage however was not approved by his parents. His mother straightway said that she will not recognise any marriage with me. But Aakash went ahead and we had a court marriage. My parents although initially reluctant for this marriage, agreed seeing me in pain.

My life has been shit ever since.

Aakash’s mother would call him and make him feel like he is the most awful son; a son who could desert his own parents and blood relations for a girl he met just an year ago... He would take the bait and then fight with me... I did not understand why he married me in the first place. He insisted on a court marriage not me. So how am I to be blamed?

These every day taunts on me... things like I wished I hadn’t done this, I think I made a mistake... made me lose  my self respect and also made me really angry and bitter from inside. I was now reduced to a mistake... How would any women feel about that?

I used to cry at office... everytime my colleagues or friends saw this, they just had one advise. Yeh to ghar ghar ki kahani hai... Do things to please your husband initially so that he forgets them and get close to you..

But I beg to differ and ask Why? Why should I have to do things extra to get the respect I deserve. He proposed a court marriage then why suddenly I am wrong. If his mother is calling him day in and day out now, she was doing it before marriage too. So what is the difference now?

He took a decision and now he doesn’t wnat to take ownership of it. He is fighting with me and making my world miserable... I got so angry that I told him lets divorce... To which he said, yes we must... My parents need me... Later he did apologise, but this deligitimisation of our marriage for the sake of his parents has left me really numb...

Even today, they invite him for functions and never me... When I tell him that why don’t they invite me? So he says did we invite them? To this my argument is, their own son did not invite them?

Why isn’t he the culprit? Why is it me? Is this not hypocrisy of the highest order, of the man to whom I am married and of his family...

I tell everyone I need a divorce. And they say my life will be hell. These are early days of a marriage that did not happen as per socially acceptable norms. With time, with baby, with this and with that things will change. But I ask what about now? What about the scars from now? Would they let me heal? Would they let me live happily with a man who was so weak after taking a bold move?

Would this disrespect go away?  Is this what you call Ghar Ghar ki Kahani? And if it is then is it not stifling???

 

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Tags: #GharGharKahani #Painful #Depressive