I Agree. I Cannot Do Anything Right In Life
25 Apr 2017
I feel like I can't do anything right. From the moment I get up in the morning to the time I close my eyes in the night, I feel my life is just a disappointment for everybody around me. I can't seem to please anybody.
Everybody is upset with me over one thing or the other. My parents have always felt that I should not have married the guy that I loved. So now I can feel the disapproval radiating from them each and every time they speak to me. Whatever I do or am managing to do is never enough for them because they feel that I could have done much better in my life.
My husband, whom I love, has these huge expectations from me at home. His parents want the ideal daughter-in-law. Someone who gets up before everyone in the morning and has tea and breakfast ready by the time they get up. Who has the house running like a well oiled machine.
By the time I leave for office, all I can see are unhappy faces because of one or the other thing that might have been missed from me. They believe I owe them this huge favour as they have “given” me the freedom to go out and work. I do try to go out of my way and keep them happy. But somewhere I always fail.
Why am I doing all this? Does anybody even care? Not that I am winning great prizes at work. At office they look at me with contempt when I leave at 6pm. As if I am doing some crime by leaving on time and not working late like them. These things come up in their behaviour every time.
I am walking on eggshells all the time. As if one small mistake from me and everything will come collapsing down. Sometimes I can’t sleep at night, in the fear of having missed something or the other.
Yet sometimes, it feels like it’s not worth the pain.
Sometimes I just feel like screaming out to everybody. “I am trying guys. I really am. I know I am not able to please everybody. I am trying really hard to keep all of you happy. But in this pressure, nothing is going right. I agree, I am not able to keep anybody happy. I am not able to do anything right.
I just want you to give me a break. To let me breathe a little. To not feel this continuous heavy burden of pleasing everybody at the same time. I have forgotten how it feels to not be under this pressure. I am a human being guys, just like you. I have my own limitations. Just give me a break sometimes.
I cannot do anything right? That’s your opinion.
But I know that I’m trying.
I know that in getting through each day just a little bit stronger, I’m winning.
Sometimes, just knowing that is enough.
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Tags: #Unhappy #Underappreciated