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My Wife Was Crying Like A Baby... It Was Scary

25 Apr 2017

It was a Sunday noon. I and my wife were in our flat in Versova, Mumbai.  We were packing our stuff up. No we were not shifting to another city. We were moving to a smaller flat in another cheaper locality in Mumbai.

Last few months have been very hard on us. I lost my job due to a prolonged illness and all this at a young age of 34. We lived for a few months on savings. My wife too incidentally had started her own business a year ago and she was still running on investments like early stage start-ups.

She needed my income to let her dream afloat. But here things changed completely. She had to take care of me during my illness and this caused her business to further suffer. I was really unwell and she was still always smiling around me. She was giving me confidence and hope that I will fight the illness. It was her undying faith that I recovered.

But my illness, my job loss, the start-up, the complete lack of resources choked our family circumstances.

Aaii-Baba had already invested all their savings on me.  They simply had a pension fund to rely on and unfortunately they were also helping me with it...

It was just a trap from all zones. My savings were no longer there and we had no other option but to empty our beautiful rented apartment.

I was packing in the living room. It was then when I heard my wife’s loud crying... I ran to our bed room.

What I saw there shook me from inside. My wife was on the floor crying like a baby. I am not exaggerating. She was literally crying like a baby of 6-9 months does. Her face was all red, her jaw wide opened and tears were pouring in like rain.

I got scared. I had never seen her like that. Infact I had only seen infants crying like that.I was shocked to see her like that... in that avalanche of pain... I felt really surreal...

I went near her and cuddled my princess. She held me like a baby does and she cried more and even more until she fell on the floor almost semi-conscious.

I rushed her to the hospital. They did some preliminary checks and said she had a nervous breakdown... The doctor kept her for observation and on discharge, advised me to seek professional psychological help for her as she felt she was traumatised and in deep psychological pain.

 I was very perplexed all this while and while on the way back home, she was still in tears, nervous, shaky, life-less and jittery.... When I touched her hand, she got all startled.

My heart broke a million times.  I felt like a failure, a failed husband but then at this time it was not about me but about her...

I reached EPsyClinic. On assessment, she was diagnosed with severe depression. This was not sudden. The pain, the stress, the hopelessness built up over the months and had started from the day she saw me unwell for the first time...

Her mind could not take the pain. My poor wife succumbed to the pain that life inflicted on her.

She is recovering.. It takes a little longer... Since her depression is severe... She still cries at times. Not like a baby but still it is hurtful.

It’s my humble request to all of you, if you see your loved one crying in a way that doesn’t appear normal to you. Please don’t wait. Seek professional help. And with it, please be the support they need. Please...

Their tears are for you... sometimes coming out of the pain of standing tall with you...

Be with them... Please

 

Shaurabh Roy

 

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Tags: #CryingSpells #Depression #ProfessionalHelp