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I have lost everything. Don’t give me your false hopes!

21 Apr 2017

People always have an opinion. They have opinions about everything. The colour of the car, what should it be? Which Ice-cream you like? Which movie you should watch? Which star you should be a fan of?

Everything is about a choice and somehow they know best!

Well as much as irritating this is, it cannot be compared to the pain and frustration I feel when people tell me to “Cheer up”, “Things will be fine”, “Everyone has to go through this” type of statements.

I am a 30 year old woman and I lost my husband in a car crash 2 months ago... It was the most stinging pain one could imagine... He was my everything. We shared our breakfast, our memories, our bed, our moments, and our pain. And amongst this entire people were telling me that I need to keep the strength. It is life. These things however painful can happen to anyone so I need to make sure that I am moving on!

I felt they were disrespecting me and my love for my husband. Why did my husband deserve to die at the age of 31? What had he seen in life? What goals that he wanted could he achieve? What places could we go together? How difficult my nights and days are?  I have no one to share breakfast with me, a moment with me and all you can say to me is that its life?

Time went on and things rather than improving only felt more miserable. I started working because suddenly I was in a dire financial crunch. But his memories only emboldened. Every happy couple, a scene in a movie, an empty cup of coffee reminded me of him... Empty words cannot help me in these moments.

I am right now living on a small budget. I have shifted to a smaller flat. I barely am making my ends meet... Life is anything but easy for me...

When you call me and give me false hopes, I judge you and I feel bad that you don’t see my pain...

If you really wanted to help, you could have come, taken time out and sat with me in the evenings that haunt me. You could have been there by my side and acknowledged my pain and just let me cry over your shoulder.... You could have just been by my side.

You could have come and lived with me for a day or two.... Thats what love is... Thats what care is... Till you can do anything like this, you are only giving me false hopes, not contributing to my recovery... My husband and his memories are far more mine...

I have lost a lot, almost all.... Don’t say that it happens with all.... It should not happen with anyone....

I am repairing my own self.... let me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Tags: #Grief #LostinLife