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I deserve to be beaten up!

18 Apr 2017

 

I am a 23 year old woman already married for last 1 year. I was a hockey player, one of the bests one could find and also got admission in DU for the same skills. But I come from a very orthodox Rajasthani family. My entire family got upset that I can go and study and have my own career. This thought made my brother and father especially angry as my father is the flag bearer of the samaj.

I revolted and it was not enough. I was married to a rich Marwari boy. He was not educated. Rather he dropped out of school after 10th but one thing he had in abundance and that was money.

The day I was married in that family, they made me cover my entire face. I am not talking about 1917. I am talking about 2016!

But that was ok. I had some issues with it but to be honest for a girl who was married off without her will, this was just a very small issue by those standards.

I was usually quiet as I didn’t know anyone and theirs was a joint family, all very loud so I was usually very much in my own world. But with my husband, I started to open up and talk. He was ok. I mean he wanted me to say aap to him and not take his name in front of his family.... I didn’t believe that it was ok but I had no other option.

Things were going fine. Until one day, he left for a trip from his office and did not tell me. I was waiting for him to come back.. But he did not.  I called his number and he said he is in Jodhpur for work and will come in two days.

I was very concerned and I told my mother in law that I felt bad. She just told me men are supposed to work and that is how things happen. There is no permission culture here. They lead the world and the house. I was quiet surprised.  I mean I wasn’t saying he should have taken my permission. All I wanted was that he could have called me and let me know that he is leaving.

 

 

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Anyways things passed and two days later he came back. I asked him why he not told me before leaving. To which he said, somewhat arrogantly, did you miss me? I said of course I did but more than miss I believe its his responsibility to keep me informed. His face tightened and he said get me some water. I said but answer me. Before I could realise anything, he hit me hard on my face and went out… I was shaken up from inside. I went crying to my mother in law and told her what had happened. She felt sorry. She got me water and then said “Did you argue with him”. I said no I just asked him twice. She said that’s argument. She further added that she herself was hit multiple times by her husband many time is the presence of my husband when he was young. She said while she sympathises with me and knows it feels bad, I shouldn’t be arguing to save myself.

 I was just not ready to take this. I called my mother and surprisingly she repeated the same story. They all agreed that it was ok for me to be beaten up.... But I did not feel it was ok.

I called my father and said I want to come back. He snapped at me and said I had to live in that home only...  I was disgusted.

Last month, one night he again hit me and this was it! I next day went and sold my jewellery and flee away from his home in a bus. I am in Delhi right now and started a part-time job.

I feel no remorse or regret of taking this decision. I am leading my life and making it. My father and husband tried to trace me but I have sought help from a woman NGO and police.

Things are fine with me. To any woman in a situation like me and is told that you deserve to be beaten up!

 

 

 

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Tags: #Woman #Pain