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I have lost my father and I am left with NOTHING!

15 Apr 2017

I lost my father two weeks ago and I feel my world has crashed. I feel I have no anchor!

 I feel as though someone has mercilessly cut my roots!

I am a 40 year old man. No I am not a young boy dependent on my father financially. Infact I am far from it. I am a business man with a 500 crore business empire. I have a lovely wife and two beautiful kids Rini and Naina.

I even didn’t live with my father for many years now. He used to live in Purvanchal in our home town and I live in Bangalore.

We hardly used to speak once a week on call and that too briefly for 2-3 mins.

 

Then why do I feel so lost... Why am I so shattered...?

There are many reasons for it...

In my life, I fell multiple times. I still remember I was 18 and I had missed clearing my engineering entrance exam. I was so disgusted with my failure that I had slithered my wrist open... My father ran, picking me in his arms to hospital. He not only saved me but when I came in my consciousness, he told me that he was proud of me and that he was sure I would achieve great heights!

His confidence picked my broken pieces up. Since that day, it was his eyes and his vision of me that became my self-reflection too. I used to feel proud of my achievements when I used to look in my father’s eyes as they shined.

He never forced his will on me. I had to move out for my business to Bangalore though I am from UP. He never stopped me. My mother was upset but instead he scolded her softly and said that as parents they should stand behind me and be my guard. It was his faith in me that a small town boy could become a business tycoon in a new city!

I ran in several problems in my life... Legal hurdles, financial troubles, health concerns, animosity and enemies...I have experienced everything,

Whenever I had a problem, the first call I used to make was to my father and he used to say beta, MAI HOON. SAB THEEK HOGA!

Those words never changed, albeit his voice became feeble with age... But that confidence his voice gave, his words gave became the reason I overcame everything in life...

Who do I run to when I am in a problem now? How do I hear back his voice?

I am ready to give in all that I have to get my papa back!

His chair, his watch, his gaze, his smile, his words, his concern, his anger, his resentment, I NEED ALL! I miss all !

 

Papa, life will never be the same without you!

Sanjay Devendra Tripathi

 

If you are fortunate enough to have your Papa, your Mummy with you! Love them unconditionally and make them as happy as you can!

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Tags: #GRIEF #DEARPAPA