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We must help my sister in law but they never should help us!

15 Apr 2017

Last year my sister in law was going through a very tough relational phase.  Her husband and she had in law issues and she was considering giving divorce and ending the marriage.  My mother in law called us and spoke personally to me and my husband. I was moved and even though I was pregnant that time and had my own issues, I decided that we must help my sister in law. I spoke to her and her pain pained me... I was hypertensive then but it was a family thing and not just for financial help, I gave her the emotional support she needed. She and I shared a lot and she was thankful that I was there for her. I didn’t do this out of compulsion. I truly believed that she needed my support.

She was going through a tough phase relationally and I even got her introduced to EPsyClinic for counselling. Fast forward things are good in her life. She now has a baby and I feel blessed to have see her this happy.



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For the past few months, I and my husband are going through a crisis. He lost a lot of his money in a start-up he started. And I am jobless too. We had to sell our TOYOTA to pay the bills for this month. We are in dire state and world looks painful.


I messaged my mother in law yesterday and asked her if I can ask my sister in law and her husband for help. Since they are doing very well in life, I did not thing that to be a concern. They have a good well running business and have savings. If we get some money from them as a help, I and my husband will get the time to find a job and we will return the money the first moment when we can.

She just said a plain NO and said that my husband made some bad decisions at my encouragement of leaving a grade A job for a “Silly” business and that I too gave up on my job and with a lot of difficulty things between my sister in law and her husband is fine and that she doesn’t want things to get worse.... 

I was very much taken aback... On the call itself I felt worse... Then I heard her saying that she will certainly pray for our well-being and that me and he will get a job soon and that she will come to live with us soon so that she can take care of the household.

While I thank her for her gesture, but I really feel sad and almost disappointed. I was in a tough phase back then and she knew it. I was hypertensive and my pulses were uncontrollable and she involved me to help her own daughter but today when I need their help, she cites that she has been through stress. I mean may be I am unable to see what’s the logic but I have seen that my mother in law is only concerned for the pain in my sister in law’s life and the pain in our life is somewhere inflicted by me...  I feel very saddened at the difference. I and my husband are strong and we will come out of it... Next time when they need my help, I would be still there.... But I will never ask for help again and no one can undo the setback I felt.... I now know I and my husband are alone and we need to be there for each other!



Type your message in the Chat  To connect instantly & privately to an expert EPsyClinic psychologist NOW


Type your message in the Chat  To connect instantly & privately to an expert EPsyClinic psychologist NOW


Tags: #Sad #DoubleStandards