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3 years of Marriage & 900 times of sex, I have never had a single orgasm

15 Apr 2017

I was married 3 years ago. Ours was an arrange marriage. My husband is a good man. He is an engineer and two of us live in a nuclear set up in Mumbai. Everything about him is nice. He takes care of me and my needs. His parents are nice to me and treat me as their daughter. He is a gentle man and has never spoken a harsh word towards me. But I still have started disliking him.

He has never been considerate of my needs in bed. I don’t know whether other women have experienced it but the intimate relationship between us is so mechanical.

It is always led by him. He starts it like a process mechanically. Say first he will come and kiss me and from thereon he starts leading it without any space for my needs and before I can ever peak he ends it. The entire thing lasts for 10-15 mins and THEN ITS OVER. He sleeps off and I just lay in the bed with no sleep and mountain of frustration, pain and disgust.

 I have tried communicating with him but he appears really touchy on the subject so I don’t want to make him feel inadequate or that he has been doing it the wrong way. That said I am very depressed as I haven’t enjoyed sex in once in my life and worst is that it is affecting me and my emotions. I am also now starting to hate the night and sex seems like an ordeal. I also have developed a pent of frustration towards him, anger towards him.

Why doesn’t he care about my feelings? Why does he treat me like a sexual toy in bed? Is the concern during the day also a farce?

Does he just think my body is to satisfy the needs of his? I even have started to have fights with him. I like nothing he says or does.

I sometimes feel guilty too. I haven’t communicated about my displeasure with him... May be that is why he doesn’t know? Just because he is not able to give me pleasure in bed, why have I started hating him so much? Why don’t his other good things appeal to me?

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I am tired and I feel like I have lost the plot. I have been married for so long, have had sex about 900 times and still I haven’t felt it... I have only felt the pain and it bothers me!

Am I wrong? Is he wrong? Have others experienced it? I feel like ending this marriage but then I get confused. Just for this?

My mind has been troubling me and I feel sick of it....

I just don’t know what to do

Srimala

 

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Tags: #Pleasurelesssex #SexualityIssues