My Husband Flirted With My Sister… When He Told Me The Reason I Was Shocked
31 Mar 2017
"Hey sweetie, why don't you stay at home and finish cooking? I'll go out with Shweta and pick up the drinks,” said my husband as he and my sister rushed out of the door. We were having a small party to ring in his 35th birthday. I tried to push away the niggling feeling that crept up every time the two of them were together these days. It was silly I told myself, how could I be insecure about my husband and my sister. As I wrapped up the cooking I saw them strolling up the driveway, giggling together. As soon as I opened the door, they exchanged meaningful looks and hushed up. It annoyed me and I was snappy as I told them where everything was. I left to get ready. Walking up the stairs I heard them laugh loudly.
My sister was the life of the party that night, telling everyone stories of her life and travels. While everyone complimented me on the beautiful new house and the delicious food, it was her that they wanted to be near. My husband was no exception, replenishing her wine glass, dancing with her and flirting every chance he got. This had been going on for the last few months and much as I tried to push it out of my mind, I couldn't shake it off. I had confronted each of them before and both had denied it. I believed my sister, I knew she had no such intentions and had a loving relationship of her own. But my husband hadn't made eye contact when he said I was being “ridiculous”. Tonight as I sat in a corner, a stranger at my own party, I decided I had had enough.
That night I confronted my husband. He hesitated just a moment before he broke down and confessed he had been flirting with my sister. He told me it had gone no further than that and that he didn't want to cheat on me, that was never his intention. I was devastated but could see that he was being honest and was also in pain.
I asked him why, how could he do this to me, that too with my own sister?
His answer left me speechless.
"She reminds me of how you used to be, carefree and happy".
I was stunned. In the 5 years we had been married, I had done everything I could to be a 'good' wife. I cooked three fresh meals a day, I kept the house in order. Yes I had heard him murmur time and again that this wasn't what he wanted, but I had never stopped long enough to listen. In being the good wife, I had stopped being the person he had fallen in love with. As my face started to crumble, he held me and apologized, saying that still didn't excuse his actions. He should have spoken to me, instead of flirting with my sister. We both wept for the hurt that we had caused each other and decided we would work together to save our marriage.
The very next day we started couples therapy with ePsyClinic. It was immensely helpful. We also made an effort to take out more time for each other and reconnect with the people we had fallen in love with. My husband no longer had to go out for drinks with my sister on the weekends because I was doing laundry. We split the household chores, and we also just let some be, prioritising our time together over them. I spoke to my sister and she was understanding enough to help us out. She kept the kids while we went away for a weekend. A weekend that rekindled our love and deep connection. Today the flirty glances and attention are all for me and all three of us are much happier.
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Tags: couple, relationships. marital relationships. flirting