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I Want My Spouse To Be More Adventurous In Bed, But How Do I Make It Happen?

23 Mar 2017

Sexual intimacy is an integral part of most relationships. While you and your partner may be compatible enough in bed, one of you may want to spice things up a bit more. This can deepen your bond, if handled with care. However, if handled badly it can cause lasting damage to your relationship and leave your partner feeling hurt and rejected. It's important that your partner not feel that their abilities in bed are being criticized when you bring this up. Here are a few things you can do to set the right tone for your partner so that they can be more adventurous in bed.


Have an honest conversation

A relationship is built on trust and honesty. Work on that foundation and have an open discussion with your partner, telling them that you want to try more things with them in bed. Let them know how important it is for you and that you'd appreciate them considering it with an open mind.



Tell your partner how much you love your sex life and how much they mean to you. Reassure them that you are neither bored nor unhappy with them or your sex life and would just like to bring in some novelty. This reassurance may need to be an ongoing thing till they open up to the idea of trying out more adventurous things in bed.

Communication is key

You can't have just one conversation and jump into being more adventurous in bed. You have to keep the communication lines open and let your partner know they can express their discomfort at any time. Let them know this is something you're trying together as a team and that both of you are in it together. Respect their decision to stop if they get uncomfortable.

Go slow

Don't jump into something new headlong. Start out slow. If you want to try out some BDSM, start with a simple blindfold and wrist binding first. Take it slowly so that both of you can test your comfort levels and move together at a pace that works for you. Too much too soon may end up being counterproductive.

Ask them about their fantasies

A good way to spice up your sex life would be to talk about each other's sexual fantasies and see which ones you can fulfil, with both of you being at ease. It could be role playing or having sex out in the open, whatever adds zing for both of you. Discuss it and decide in advance what you'd like to try so that there are no unpleasant surprises for either of you.

Dedicate a night to each of you

Sometimes committing to something new can be overwhelming. Your partner may not want this to be a part of your regular love making. So set up dedicated nights for each of you, where the other does what you ask for within reasonable bounds. This will help them try something different without feeling the pressure of doing it every time. It also helps you and your partner focus completely on what pleases the other.


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Tags: conjugal life, adventure, sexuality, well being, relationship, couple, communication