ARTICLES

Love our Articles? Be the first one to read our newest Articles.

I am not perfectionist, rather I had low SELF-ESTEEM

21 Mar 2017

 People outside and my friends used to think I am a perfectionist. But  I knew I don’t have confidence.

I was studying B.Tech from IIT.

All assignments in my college were late. I used to make up stories of being unwell, of something happening and then used to buy time.... But then it wasn’t that I used this time to do better. I would just sit on my work and do other things rather than finalising my assignments. And then when a few hours were remaining,  I used to cry and ask for some more time but then if the professors refused, I used to quickly write it and cry all the time and submit it...

 I used to score well later... So everyone who knew me in my friends and home thought I was perfectionist. And that I used to ensure that I score a perfect 10...

But that was really not the case... I was choking with my lack of self confidence within.  I graduated from college and got a job.

Now in my job, same patterns repeated. I was insecure, I lacked confidence and my peers were so good. I used to feel more threatened and unsure of my own abilities.

I tried to call in sick and took a leave but this time it was work... Nothing was going to wait for me... I was asked to join a different project when I was back...So when I was back at work, I was handed a new project. I felt miserable, incapable and deep in pain. I was so unsure of how to tackle this situation that my mind tricked me into stage a falling. I cried and said that my leg has been injured and I need immediate help. I called in my family member and left the scene. They took me to hospital and doctor after examining said, it may be a minor sprain and she needs some rest...

But I did not want to go back... So I wrote to my work place that I had a fracture and that I wanted to resign.... I was so ashamed at myself. I was depressed and destitute. I was a failure. There was no reason to feel anymore...

After resigning, I just kept myself on bed and crying... I told my family that there were bullies at my work place. But these were all lies...

I wanted to end the confidence issues, I wanted to end the losing streak.... I came to know about EPsyClinic. I was so glad to find a place where I could first just talk about all the lies I have told and the wrongs I have done and get that off my chest... And I felt so lighter when I did that in our first session here.

But over the course of sessions, my therapist helped me see that my confidence issues come from a deep comparison between me and my brother that used to happen as a child and how I was deeply affected by it... I could look back and find places in my past that had made me this low in confidence person that I am today....

I have joined a job and today I submitted a presentation, ON TIME!

I feel on cloud 9 !

If you have self confidence issues or have called in sick or did things that I just wrote above, you have help here at EPsyClinic. Follow my story and get the pain, the lack of confidence and inaction off your life!

Trust ME!

Bhavya

If you could relate to their STORY and our going through same situation, then help is right here at EPsyClinic.

JUST TYPE YOUR MESSAGE in the green chat button on bottom left and instantly connect with an expert and certified EPsyClinic psychologist privately!


Tags: #Low-confidence #Sadness #Hope