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My husband didn't think depression is a health concern

15 Mar 2017

 had to write to you... It’s been 10 years of our marriage and we have seen lots of ups and downs together.

Losing our middle child to a miscarriage, losing our parents to life and so on.... We have been through it all and stood tall...

But this incident last year shook me... Losing my savings to get my book published and seeing it fail was devastating for me personally.

 

It not only hit us financially but also it hit me personally. I had invested a lot of me in it... I had devoted as you know hours and hours in writing it to perfection. It even got good reviews but it failed...

I lost my self esteem with it... I felt I was not just good enough... You encouraged me to take up a job BUT I just couldn’t muster up the courage... coz I never felt that I would pull anything off...

I don’t know what happened but as you saw I visibly deteriorated... I was not concerned of how I looked; I did not want to meet anyone

You thought I was just sad... and so did I but then this was never-ending.

Nothing cheered me up.Nor your wins, not our son’s visits from his boarding school. Nothing was good.

And rightfully you started losing your patience...

I was too. I came across EPsyClinic and I got myself assessed. I was suffering from clinical depression.

I was at least relieved that all this while I was feeling this way because of an illness and now I had hope that I could recover and be fine...

But when I told you this, you snapped so badly at me... You said I was doing this all for attention and that this is just my way of being the sad statue I have been. You even said that I have started enjoying being sad and in pain and this is just a new way to keep sympathy intact.You went ahead and said that many people lose in life, not everyone succeeds. I should stop excusing so much.

Your words, what should I write... I was so devastated...  I remember two days ago, your friend had called you and told you about the fact that he had typhoid and you were so sorry for her... You even spoke to me about it all concerned...

But here I am battling an illness that makes world so dark, so lifeless for me... AND you think I am acting? Even when I have been diagnosed?

I feel ashamed that we live in this world where a disease that can force me to kill myself is an attention seeking behaviour for you... I will go ahead and seek treatment because I want to be fine... I want to feel I am good enough... I want to be there for my son and daughter and feel the true happiness with them but I am writing this so that you can for once, ponder and think... You have seen me suffered for last many months and now when I know why, you brush it all aside... They told me your support will help me gain my wellness back quicker... Can I still count on you?

I did some research and Depression is the second biggest killer, it kills more people than road accidents... Would you walk with me?

 

Deepanshi

 

If you have had similar symptoms as Deepanshi and this has been on for more than two weeks then this is most likely Depression. 

Don't sit on it! Depression is a serious illness. To get help from EPsyClinic,

Just Type Your Message in  the green chat button on bottom left to instantly connect with an expert EPsyClinic psychologist instantly and privately


Tags: #Depression #SaathChalo #Stigma #Apathy