A New Beginning - Will the Real Me Please Stand Up!
07 Mar 2017
“I was drained, exhausted from trying so hard to make my marriage work. I had given up on myself, even considered ending my life as the trauma and torture of everyday chaos ruined me. Thankfully, it’s over now. Just not sure what lies ahead.” Exasperated Apeeksha explained in her first counselling session.
Just like many others, divorce seems like an endless battle with self and others which in most cases is extremely exhausting. One is so focused on what needs to be done to save the relationship that we fail to ponder over the possibilities of life after. You are left staring into the emptiness surrounding you knowing you have a second chance to create a life you want. It is thrillingly scary to see the number of possibilities that await you.
Most often, people seek help before filing for divorce to ensure that they done leave any stone unturned to save their relationship from drowning. This trend is now slowly changing, increasing number of women and men are seeking help and support for ‘putting it together again’. Therapy helps them piece together a life where they realize their self-worth and embrace their changing roles.
Take a deep breath and let’s get started and say… Will the Real Me Please Stand Up!
Let yourself mourn
In an attempt to manage your emotional recovery during and after divorce, give yourself a break. You are grieving the loss of your hopes and dreams—the belief of what you thought your life was going to look like. You will move through different phases, angry one week, in denial the next. Recover at your own pace, you will come to the point of acceptance though, hopefully sooner than later.
Let It Go
Acceptance is the most important and most difficult step we must take towards releasing the past and beginning a new chapter of life. Acceptance simply means acceptance of your reality as it exists for you right now; what it is and not what we think it should or could be.
To survive divorce, you must find acceptance. Even if you can’t ever find forgiveness. Acceptance involves giving up blame, resentment and regret. The ability to let go of those negative emotions is true acceptance, which ultimately gives you the freedom to move forward.
Learn to love yourself again
Your life is not over. Well, your OLD life is over — but your fresh, new life is just starting. Own your part in the divorce. Take an honest, hard look at your own strengths and weaknesses. Love yourself and give yourself the time you need to recover. Turn the page and start writing a new, more exciting chapter. It is important to get to enjoy your own company and there’s only way to get there … that’s to just do it
Discover a new side of YOU
The road to finding yourself should begin with the realisation that there are things you cannot control. Make a vision about yourself. Who do you want to become? Where are you on that road? What are the things that you need to do to get there? Having a vision is really important, and this must not involve anyone else other than you. This is about you.
Dare to be alone
For people who have been married for a few years, been with someone else is all they know. They have virtual spent so much time with someone else, than been with someone wrong is easier for them than been alone.
Divorce can make you feel scary, isolated, and lonely. It stinks, actually. But, once you learn how to be comfortable being alone after divorce, you get a gift: an empowering, independent feeling that brings reflection, peace, self-confidence, and self-love.
Embrace your new roles
Change is a matter of conscious choice, desire, effort and a commitment to oneself. As I always say to my clients: You have one precious life to live and you get to decide how you will live it.
A divorce can be a time of financial and emotional strain. Feelings are hurt, financial support and security are changing, and a complete lifestyle alteration occurs during and after divorce. Along with finding professional support in counselling, reach out to friends and family members. An experienced therapist can support you through these difficulties, helping you to regain the strength and confidence you may have lost since your marriage ended.
If you are going through a troubled phase in marriage or are struggling alone emotionally and you feel hopeless & get crying spells,then you must seek professional help at ePsyClinic.com
Just Type Your Message in the chat button and connect now through text chat with a certified ePsyClinic psychologist privately.
Tags: #Divorce #NewBeginning