ARTICLES

Love our Articles? Be the first one to read our newest Articles.

We are happy in a Live-in relationship... Please let us be

27 Feb 2017

I live with my partner. My name is Sunita and I am an investment banker. I and Rohan have been dating since 7 years. I lived in Delhi and he was in Mumbai. 2 years ago, I moved to Mumbai for my job...  Initially I was living in a PG but then we decided to move together.. Initially the thought of living together started with a more rational equation of getting a bigger house and sharing the rent and also living with a person who I could trust...

But as soon as we moved in together, we realised it was the best thing we could do... The breakfast suddenly became a happening and a beautiful routine... I used to work all day and used to come late in evenings... His routine was the same... We used to cook dinner together and used to buy groceries together... everything felt so much like a home and the freshness of our relationship made it even more beautiful...

We used to go to movies together, decorate the rooms together, and celebrate festivals together... It was like a magic happening all around us...

Living together made us realise that we were also compatible as hell. It’s not like we never had a disagreement but both of us knew that we had no social ties keeping us together so we were psychologically more conscious of quickly resolving our fights...

It was all going well until one day when my mom decided to visit me... I mean she knew I was dating Rohan and that he used to come and go at my place but she didn’t know we were staying together...

But I also thought this could be a good time for letting her know ... When I went to receive her at the station, I told her... At first reaction, she was really angry... She said that she wanted to go back but then when I told her how the reason to move together initially was more because of the rational benefits of living with someone who I could feel more secure in an unknown place, she came around...

When she reached home, Rohan came with flowers and greeted her... He had made amazing breakfast for my mom and was a charmer... My mom fell for him instantly... Though she had known he was my boyfriend, this was the first time, she actually met him...

 

In the one week she lived there, she was ecstatic that I had “found” Rohan... She took his mom’s number and spoke to her... They both quickly decided that we should be married...

And it was then when my whole existence came crashing down... I was a 26 year old investment banker living life my own style. Rohan was a 28 year old engineer living his own life... We were sharing rooms, chemistry, love, groceries but we were not yet sharing our dreams!

You know some people would find our views way too liberal and  you can tag us anyway you want to but still this cannot be denied that these are our views...

Rohan and I were not ready to merge our two lives into one... We were not ready to take the decision to get married!  So we told our families and that is when hell broke loose!

My mother and his mother camped at our home and asked us to live separately or get married...

I was adamant that marriage was not what I wanted now in my life... I decided to move out...

And this pushed me to depression... I took counselling from ePsyClinic  and glad that my counsellor could relate to my pain and she did not feel that I was wrong and that I was “Faulty”.

Rohan too came in for video counselling. Both of us could see that we love each other so much but marriage is not what we want right now... Living together is what we want and being grown up adults we have right to make our choices.... We took the responsibility and moved back in together...

Our families are angry but they have not punished us by not talking to us... We apologised to them knowing that they are not wrong. Like we have a set of values, they too have a set of values and they cant be blamed for it... They are not wrong....

The name plate outside our home still says Sunita Rastogi and a separate one reads Rohan Khanna.

We aren’t ready yet to merge our identities... We may soon be but that call we want to take...

It is a shared nest... We will decide when  it can move to one nest....

We are happy right now and that’s all that matters...  

You don’t need reasons to be married and you don’t need reasons to chose not to marry and be in a relationship. It is something which appeals for reasons best not known to rational brains... We are taking life as it comes... May be we are not the norm.. May be people will not like what we do... But then we don’t speak against couples who choose to marry even without knowing each other... We respect their choices. It will be great if you respect ours!

Sunita Rastogi

 

If you are facing issues in your relationship, you can get complete help here at ePsyClinic.com through emotional and wellbeing counseling. 

Just Click the green chat button for instant counseling with a psychologist or know more about charges .

Many of our premium articles are never published on Facebook. So to benefit from them and to read them, Subscribe Now using the green button on top


Tags: living in, marriage, compatibility, assertiveness, depression