I got ready and moved out of the room. My husband went to freshen up. As soon as I entered the lobby, his mother said. I hope you slept well. I liked the fact that she was so considerate. I replied and greeted her and then she said "Hope you don't wake up this late each day". I was taken aback. I mean it was my 2nd day in their home and marriage and functions and everything was tiring ....
My husband came from the room and greeted his mom. He then asked her to give him breakfast. She brought him breakfast. He had it. I was all this while constantly brushing my hair and looking at him. I wanted him to catch my eye but he just didn't look at me... I was quiet perplexed that why wasn't he even looking at me???
Then he said "Accha Maa Chalta Hoon". And then he touched his mother's feet and then he just said bye to me and didn't even look properly and left... The whole day I was in a mood that was rotten..I was feeling shitty.
In evening he came back and then again same story. He just said Hi Nidhi, how are you ? And I replied fine and then he just went around talking to his family, his father, mother, sister and then opened cricket match. I was just very confused, I was feeling like crying and yelling that very fine but I couldn't...
Then after dinner we went into our room and he held me and he got a ring out of his bag, and a bottle of champagne, picked me up in his arms... I asked him to get me down. He said what happened ? I asked him how he didn't have a minute to speak with me downstairs.
He very causally replied that he didn't notice and that he wanted to spend time alone and that is why I got champagne and ring and flowers. I was upset but then believed him.
After this day, things remained the same.
In a few days, his mother picked up a fight with me on why I kept the slippers so close to temple. I realised it was my mistake but not this big deal that she had made it.
She kept her anger on and whole day was really cold with me. I complained to Vijay about it. But then he said, I think I won't be a part of this argument and I won't speak against my mother. She is too senior and that I should deal with such things on my own.
His behaviour of indifference continued with me in front of everyone and love and passion behind close doors. I was living a dual life... Lack of respect, lack of "Real" love... I was feeling used now.. Used emotionally, physically and socially.
I drowned in depression... Crying spells, sadness all over... Once my sister came to meet me and she was shocked to see how dull lifeless I had become. She told me about ePsyClinic and I started Counseling here because I needed to get the guilt out, I needed someone to hand hold me , to tell me what to do...
I am still in therapy, better than where I was 1 month ago. I am learning communication and assertive training and I have learnt a way to communicate to my husband exactly my discmpfort. But I still wonder why?
Why did I have to feel so used? Am I. The only woman who has been through this? Or are there more like me? Are you too like me?
If yes what are you doing..how are you dealing with this....
If you have been in a situation where you feel
That your husband or wife conveniently use you according to their needs while ignoring your care and other needs, then ePsyClinic is the place to get help...
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