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Manytimes we may be pushing our women to Depression

07 Oct 2016

It’s the time of Navratri and Durga Puja, it’s the time to respect the Goddess. And yet, one might pause to ponder, so we really respect them? Or do we just worship the idols and not the ideals?

A woman anywhere in India as she grows up, she’s taught to adjust and be resilient; never to voice her opinion or have wishes of her own.

Post marriage, she is supposed to leave her home, family as well as identity behind and mould herself into a new ‘She’. There also, she is the second fiddle. While her mother in law fawns over her son, no one asks after her. She is left out of the family decision making; she is stripped off her career and burdened with household chores. And she does that uncomplainingly.

Even her husband, the man who vowed to love, cherish and protect her keeps her as the last resort. He never stands up for her when she’s criticized, does not prefer her company in the weekends over hangouts with his friends. At old age, she becomes a burden to the son she reared with all her heart, who often sends her off to an old age home while settling in the US.

Female foeticide, infanticide & human trafficking make India the world’s 4th most dangerous country for women in the world. A male child is yet so much more preferable. Rather, the above mentioned statistics prove that a female child, most often than not, is an unwelcome event.

In a rural low SES family, the girl’s education is often curtled to provide for her brother, in spite of the girl’s having better academics or being keener on studying.

 

Society burdens the woman in different ways. Her character is measured by the length of her clothes, or the time of her return. While it is ‘romantic’ for a man to stalk her, her ‘No’ does not carry a weight --- celluloid has taught us the ‘No’ actually means a ‘Yes’! She is burdened by expectations, shackled by partial norms, chided by male chauvinism, bullied by judgments,

Women are always the secondary gender, the less priority ones. From the educational rights to decision making, women have to sacrifice it all for their male counterparts. It is not only India; it is the subcontinent, and the whole world up to a certain extent.

 

All these lower her self image --- low self esteem, low self worth, and low confidence, being plagued by self doubts. She does not find herself in the mirror anymore; or was she ever there? Biological and hormonal causes of depression in women comprise of premenstrual problems – Hormonal fluctuations during the menstrual cycle can cause the familiar symptoms of premenstrual syndrome (PMS), such as bloating, irritability, fatigue, and emotional reactivity. Studies have also shown that women are more prone to depression because of social conditioning that leads to lower self worth and confidence. The bias in workplaces, with lower pay and discrimination also plays a part in reinforcing the idea that women are not good enough. Women also work under a lot of additional stress because they are still the primary caretaker of children, and responsible for housework. 

 

How to fight depression?

Being depressed can make you feel helpless. You're not. Along with therapy and sometimes medication, there's a lot you can do on your own to fight back. Changing your behavior, your physical activity, lifestyle, and even your way of thinking.

a.Depression can strip away the structure from your life. One day melts into the next. Setting a gentle daily schedule can help you get back on track.

b. When you're depressed, you may feel like you can't accomplish anything. That makes you feel worse about yourself. To push back, set daily goals for yourself.

c.  Exercise temporarily boosts feel-good chemicals called endorphins. It may also have long-term benefits for people with depression. Regular exercise seems to encourage the brain to rewire itself in positive ways.

d.There is no magic diet that fixes depression. Although nothing is definitive, there's evidence that foods with omega-3 fatty acids (such as salmon and tuna) and folic acid (such as spinach and avocado) could help ease depression.

e.  Depression can make it hard to get enough shut-eye, and too little sleep can make depression worse. Start by making some changes to your lifestyle. Go to bed and get up at the same time every day. Try not to nap. Take all the distractions out of your bedroom -- no computer and no TV. In time, you may find your sleep improving.

f.  When you’re depressed, you may want to pull back from life and give up your responsibilities at home and at work. Don't. Staying involved and having daily responsibilities can help you maintain a lifestyle that can help counter depression. They ground you and give you a sense of accomplishment.

g. In your fight against depression, a lot of the work is mental -- changing how you think. When you're depressed, you leap to the worst possible conclusions. It takes practice, but start challenging you negative thoughts and in time you can beat back those negative thoughts before they get out of control.

h. When you’re depressed, you’re in a rut. Push yourself to do something different. Go to a museum. Pick up a used book and read it on a park bench. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Take a language class.

i.  As strange as it might sound, you have to work at having fun. Plan things you used to enjoy, even if they feel like a chore. Keep going to the movies. Keep going out with friends for dinner. When you're depressed, you can lose the knack for enjoying life. You have to relearn how to do it. In time, fun things really will feel fun again.

Go visit a doctor before taking anti depressants. Take professional help in form of therapy, be it psychological or pharmaceutical. People think depression is sadness, crying or dressing in black. But people are wrong. Depression is the constant feeling of being numb. You wake up in the morning just to go back to bed again.

We do not control the society, but we do have control on their impact in affecting us. When there is no one for you, stand by yourself. Seek help, Today, it’s just a click away. Give yourself the life you deserve; Women, you are worth it.

 

If you are going through an unhappy phase in marriage, a marriage where you expected something else and what is happening is totally different. If you are not happy, counseling at ePsyClinic is going to help. There is no point in ignoring and letting things get worse. 

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Tags: depression, well being, sadness, coping issues, hopelessness, helpnessless