Lovelessness is leading to psychological issues
30 Sep 2016
Value of Love as a Child
Mr. and Mrs. Kamath were fuming, as they took their son Rishabh back home from the parent teacher meet. It seemed after all they have done for him, like giving him a comfortable life, the best of education, a mobile phone and a personal laptop at age 12, he still refused to comply to anything they ask of him. In school, he would often be inattentive and stare blankly in class, would be unmindful and not answer when asked questions. His would not complete his homework, and his class works showed deterioration too.
Too much indulgence is the cause of all this, decided Mr. Kamath, and his wife supported him. In the back seat of the car, Rishabh quietly shed a few silent tears.
Rishabh was the child of working parents, with an active social life. They would often be out on tours or social gatherings, leaving Rishabh to take of himself. Rishabh missed his parents in the lonely dinner table, or when he saw his friends’ parents coming to pick them up from school. On weekends his friends often went out with parents, while he mostly stayed indoors. Interaction with parents meant a dinner out once in a while, big party on his birthdays and a yearly tour, where his father often kept busy in his laptop. He felt he was not good enough for his parents to love him, and remained sad most of the time. He did not feel like studying, could not concentrate on anything. He kept on wondering what he could do to be better, to make his parents love him.
Love of the youth
Sania tied the knot with Ajay after a whirlwind romance. They were the ideal couple among friends. Things changed soon after marriage. Ajay would give more importance to his parents’ opinion than hers, preferred his weekend hangouts with friends than going out with her. He would be busy on his laptop till late at night. When she tried to talk to him about it, he told her that she knows he loves her, and now they are married. They are together for life. What else does she need? He would ask her to adjust with her parents’ wishes, even if she had a different opinion. Gradually she seemed too complaining to him, and the fights began. Ajay started to avoid Sania more. As the days passed, Sania started retreating in to a shell. Gone was the confident young woman, who was smiling and social. She would talk less, often be in her room alone and cry herself to sleep. She went in to deep depression, and often contemplated suicide.
Love needed at Old age
Mr. Marcus silently sat beside the chess set he played with all day. This is all that he had left of his home. It has been two years he has been staying in this old age home, since his children went to settle in USA. He lost his wife in the middle ages, and brought his children up alone. He gave them a happy home, and spent his funds for their higher education in the USA.
I cannot settle back here, Baba, his son & daughter had told him somberly, and we can’t leave you alone to fend for yourself. Either you come with us, or the old age home is the only option for us.
He promised to call once a week and have video calls in skype. Mr. Marcus waited, the calls never came. His arthritis deteriorated; when he called his son to come once, he said things are too busy for him to come; he would surely send the funds for treatment.
Requests to visit remained unheard; when he called the durations kept shortening. When he had a severe heart attack last month, he asked the authorities not to inform his son or daughter about it. He had waited long enough for the warmth and comradarie, it’s time he started living alone.
Love is the force that transforms and improves the Soul of the World. It is we who nourish the Soul of the World, and the world we live in will be either better or worse, depending on whether we become better or worse. And that's where the power of love comes in. Because when we love, we always strive to become better than we are --- Paolo Coelho.
The effects of childhood abuse and a lack of parental affection can last a lifetime, taking a toll both emotionally and physically.
An UCLA-led study examines for the first time the effects that abuse and a lack of affection have across the body's entire regulatory system and finds a strong biological link for how these negative life experiences affect physical health.
In our daily practice at ePsyClinic, we come across many people who are apparently showing several psychological ‘symptoms’, but a quick glance in their lives confirm us of one diagnosis, Lack of Love. It is something that keeps the world going, yet, it is something that is often unaddressed and less respected.
In our daily life, we often come across depression or anxiety; feelings of abandonment, low self worth and self esteem, even, a distorted sense of reality. Behind the biological constructs of the disorders or the social learning of such behaviors, there lies the one true reason, the lovelessness of the world we live in. The worthlessness of depression comes from the feeling of being unloved, while the insecurity of anxiety comes from the fear of losing the love object. While unconditional love and acceptance helps in acceptance of the self, and can eradicate traits and symptoms of disorders like depression or borderline personality. When you see you are being accepted in spite of the mistakes you made, the mind changes the thoughts. It becomes more motivated to look in to the positives in life, while daring to break out from the bonds of dark guilt and negativity.
Just as lack of food, water, and rest have their detrimental effects, so too does the lack of affection. One of the chief causes of lack of zest is the feeling that one is unloved, whereas conversely the feeling of being loved promotes zest more than anything else does. Those who face life with a feeling of security are much happier than those who face it with a feeling of insecurity. And in a very great many cases, though not in all, a sense of security will itself help a man to escape dangers to which another would succumb. It is affection received, not affection given, that causes this sense of security, though it arises most of all from affection which is reciprocal.
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Tags: #love #psychological issues