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Being Married to a person with Narcissistic Personality: How it feels

29 Sep 2016

“ Mirror mirror on the wall, tell me who is the fairest of all.”, the evil queen would ask, fearing Snow White might be more beautiful than her and then she decided to kill Snow White to establish herself as the most beautiful person, basically to satisfy her narcissistic needs.

Narcissism is characterized by excessive self admiration or interest in oneself, particularly in one's physical appearance. It can typically accompany utmost selfishness, with a grandiose view of one's own talents and a craving for admiration.

Narcissism is Narcissistic personality disorder, a listed mental disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders and International classification of disorders. 

It may sound complicated, we have heard stories of narcissism since our childhood and extent to which a narcissistic person can go to proves or her superiority.

According to American Psychological Associations’s Diagnostic Statistical Manual V, narcissistic personality disorder include these features:

•    Over-estimated sense of self-importance

•    Expect recognition as superior even without achievements that warrant it and constant admiration from other people

•    Live in a state of grandiose and want to be associated only with people matching up to them

•    Exaggerate achievements and talents

The above traits obviously doesn’t make the narcissist person very pleasant to live with.

Having a narcissistic partner means that the person would face the following:

•    The person does not get any regard or recognition of his or her needs and feelings

•    The person faces envy of their narcissistic partner and often the narcissistic partner believes incorrectly that the people around envy him or her.

•    It is can make a person feel demeaned or disrespected to be around a narcissistic person behaving in an arrogant or haughty manner

•    A narcissistic person usually has a preoccupation with success, power, beauty, brilliance or the perfect mate. They will feel their partner never meets the standard and they will keep asserting it. This could be a huge blow to a person’s self worth and  self esteem

•    A narcissistic person is likely to take advantage of others to get what they want which may make the person living with him or her feel exploited and bullied.

•    A constant need for attention on the part of the narcissistic person can be demanding on the person living with him or her’s personal and social life. In general, a lot of time and energy could be required to attend to the narcissistic person.

• Taking care of one’s self esteem becomes a task while living in an ungrateful environment where the person is possibly being criticised and bullied

However, difficult as it may seem, it is possible to live comfortably with a narcissistic person. Counseling and Therapy can help both the partners cope including a person with a narcissistic personality can be helped to learn desired behaviors and practice them. This two way approach helps in dealing with them.

If you could identify with the contents of this article and if you think you are living or could be yourself facing narcissistic personality disorder than rest assured that things can change with therapy designed to heal the hurt and make more aware and mindful of one;s behavior and actions.

Just Click the "Chat Now" button and type "Counseling" to instantly connect with a guidance psychologist and know how you could be helped. 


Tags: #narcissistic #married #woman