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Living with my own name: I am a woman and an Individual First

24 Sep 2016

I am a woman and an individual first

These words perhaps echo in every woman’s heart, mind, body, and soul……yet, we are living in a society, which only lets us feel otherwise.

The beauty of life has to be realized by releasing our emotions first-both mentally and physically, and then intending to gain any sort of recognition from it-if at all you require.

This is a story of a woman who is not just bold in her character; but chose to lead her own life, on her own terms and conditions.

A good soul and even a greater human being-she is the 21st century lady accepted by the society as a symbol of liberation-only when she chose to liberate herself….we share with you the story of this one woman….Lets call her Ms.

Her initial struggle

Nikita is a strong individual, and had the potential to be so. She recognised her inner strength, as an individual and as a woman. She recognised the power of being a woman. At the same time, she was quick to realize that her destiny-that her own sense of power and achievement-was not an accepted norm in the society.

Nikita got married to a boy from her "caste" and someone who made good money. Her parents thought that getting married to this boy will mean that the girl has less adjustment problems due to same rituals and also money will be in abundance to lead a good life. 

But she was unhappy post marriage. She was made a shadow of sorts, accepted to be standing behind her husband and claiming that in the role of the shadow, was her victory.  

Her role was restricted to feeding her husband when he comes at night, bidding him good byes in morning and taking care of his house and his family. 

Her life was now confined to being "Mrs.Gupta"

When Nikita would complain to her parents or her inlaws, they used to say but whats wrong in this? Isn't that what every woman does.

But Nikita was a different woman. She had not imagined her life as a shadow. 

She decided to open her own boutique. Her husband was initially ok with it but with the growing success of the boutique, she had relatively lesser time for home. She was still doing her "Duties" at home but she wasn't as available now as she was earlier. 

Her husband told to her. You are first "Mrs.Gupta". Your first priority is your home. 

Having heard that, Nikita knew what she should do now..

She chose her own path. Her bold feelings and thinking were represented through her strong individuality. And this in turn, became evident to others when she decided to use her own identity.

She took the decision to remove and even her husband name and even her father’s name, for her own namesake. This was indeed a bold step, as a woman is a success story only behind a man. 

Nikita decided to pursue her own destiny, without tagging along her father and husband. It was not an easy decision-you bet!

She was heading for a punctuated path of life. In simple terms, her struggle was just about to start. It was her own fight-which included dealing with her own family members, her relatives, her near and dear ones, and the society at large.

This was her formal recognition now, which also meant her to be mentally prepared for many questions-both personal and emotional- and sometimes facing flak for no reason perhaps.

It was not going to be a smooth ride, for her to prove her identity-in a patriarchal society. Yet, she chose to be just "NIKITA".

Walking her own path

An overwhelming decision of projecting her persona, or choosing to be on her own, whatever it is; for many Nikita is  a great example of sorts. That was truly not her intention-to impress upon others.

Perhaps, that is what she was from inside.


A good human, a good soul, and her good deeds, slowly started gaining acceptance with people in her life.

She was no rebel, she was only Nikita. She made her loved ones and her husband understand that having her own identity does not mean she didn't love others. It only meant She loved herself too!

and therefore, slowly accepted by her near and dear ones, as also by the society.

She was enjoying being herself, and that had a domino effect on others.

She is an exuberance of confidence, energy, positivity towards life in general, and also a caring person.

Her strong personality coupled with the fact that she was a genuine soul and a sensitive person, only helped her along.

How she feels now  

Well, it is anybody’s guess how she feels now. Being a woman myself, Nikita is not only an inspiration for me, I am sure. I feel what she must be feeling now. A liberated woman, leading her life with a free spirit, commanding her own life, an independent soul and person-who has the ability, and now the experience to live life on her own terms and conditions.

For she chose to be neither a rebel nor an anti-human; she only chose to be a woman with a soul. Her own carved out path of life, helped her to be accepted as a person (of what she is and what she can be).

It is a perfect example of leading a balanced life- a life which you lead when you understand yourself with depth. Today, Nikita is an accepted norm for the society and a strong example for many of us.

Kudos to her courage, her free spirit, and her persona!!

If you who are reading this article feel stuck and don't know what will make you happy.. If you are in pain that is undying and you don't know the reasons 

then Reflective Analysis is a space for you and about you that does not push you towards getting rid of your hurt and move on; rather it allows you the space to process that hurt and find worth and meaning in it. Perhaps, once that meaning can be found in other possible places, you won’t need to carry that hurt, ever.

Just Click the Pink Chat button on left & Type "Hi"  to instantly connect with a psychologist or know more about the process of reflective therapy and charges for availing it


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Tags: #woman #happiness