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I feel that I am differently treated when you are not around..

15 Sep 2016

 

It has been 5 months we have been married now. You  you give me so much love and respect as a wife and respect my individuality that I feel really happy to have found you. I hope you feel the same way about me and our companionship.

 

I am sharing with you today something which has been affecting me over a period of time. Since you are my life partner-and also my best friend- I hope to reach out to you for comfort in this phase of my life. 

When I first stepped in to this house, I was happy to have such wonderful people around me. A mother-in-law, who showed affection and warmth, and a sister-in-law, who was more like a friend to me. However, now things have started taking a turn, which I never expected it to be. It only makes me apprehensive, and insecure of our marriage.

I was quick to realize that my mother-in law and sister in law were good to me only when you were around me. In front of you, they were sweet and nice-showing love for their son’s beloved wife.

But when you are gone, their behavior towards me changes. I tried to build a bond with them-for I know they are my family.

Yet, I don’t get the same reciprocation: that they accept me as their daughter or a sister. Of late, I have a feeling that perhaps they don’t like me-let alone love me for who I am... 

I could be wrong but I thought, I must  let you know.. Please don't  take this letter otherwise or as an attempt to bring distance between you and your folks... 

It is just an attempt to share with you somethings I am feeling. 

 

After you are gone, they both treat me differently. I still remember when I had cooked for you for the first time in the kitchen. I had then asked mom-that hope this tastes fine.

She only made me feel comfortable-by saying that all is fine. However, when we were at the dining table, she started making different remarks. Like, salt zyada hain etc etc.

This just surprised me. It just made me feel that my whole effort for you has gone down the drain.  

Similarly when in front of you suddenly they care about me, asking for my wellbeing. But the other day, you were on a tour. I got late from work, only to find no one even talked me for more than a minute.. I felt so bad. I just moved to my room and locked myself up. 

Also they don't involve me in any discussion... The other day I had to  borrrow mom-in-law's phone but she first deleted her chat with Anjali...  I cant help but think what were they hiding? There are many more small instances where I feel like an alien...

Small  things matter as at your home, happiness lies in small things too... I am missing my family and starting to feel very sad and low as when alone, no one bothers to talk to me... When I make attempts, they go in vain... I am telling you all this so that you extend me help... I want to divert my attention off it... 

For me, life is a creative canvass. Why waste it on something totally unworthy of time? You know me personally, and I only expect you to understand my perspective as well. If such incidents continue, then it will affect our marriage; sooner or later.

With love

Shweta

This is a letter by one of our couple therapy clients and she requested us to make this article open. Letters are a great way of expressing what you feel like and when used systematically within the couple counseling process at the right points.can break down communication barriers and fill happiness in couple's life. 

If you are going through an unhappy phase in marriage, a marriage where you expected something else and what is happening is totally different. If you are not happy, counseling at ePsyClinic is going to help. There is no point in ignoring and letting things get worse. 

So just click the Chat Now button on left and type "MR" to instantly connect with a guidance psychologist and start couple therapy or know more about the process and charge

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