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Domestic Violence in India: From being in it to moving on and getting help

13 Sep 2016

In this article, ePsyClinic intends to highlight all aspects of Domestic violence; ranging from the definition to what we can do if we find ourselves in a violent relationship. You will also know what is a healthy relationship versus an unhealthy one. 

Read on if you or somebody you know is dealing with this issue at home. It is our aim that the resources mentioned below would help you.

The World Health Organization defines partner or spousal abuse as the intentional use of physical force or power, threatened or actual, by an intimate partner that either results in or has a high likelihood of resulting in physical injury, psychological harm, neglect or deprivation (WHO, 2002).

The nature and consequences of partner abuse are more severe for women compared to men. Further, repeated victimization of women culminates in chronic ill health and social issues including depression, suicide attempts, addictions, chronic physical symptoms, poor pregnancy outcomes and a negative impact on children’s health and behavior[1]

A study on Domestic Violence in India illustrates the phenomena well:

“Domestic violence is not unique to India, nor is it a recent phenomenon. But in India what is unusual is the resistance to its elimination by society at large and society’s lack of recognition of it as a serious issue.

Almost 40% of women in India have faced some form of Physical Abuse.. The number is much higher when we include Emotional abuse.

What is recent is the courage of women to face up to domestic violence—not just women in organized groups but also female victims who are well aware of the adverse consequences that “going public” will have on their lives.

With the backdrop of the patriarchal social structure, the tradition of familial piety, and the asymmetrical gender expectations in India, this defiant movement to expose domestic violence has created the space for a national debate on the issue.”[2]

 

Types of abuse[3]

 

1.Physical abuse - hurting people physically, by kicking, punching, beating, slapping, strangling, burning, biting etc.

2.      Sexual abuse - forcing people to have sex when they don't want to, or to perform sexual acts they are not comfortable with.

3.      Financial abuse - taking control of somebody's money and not allowing them choice. This makes it more difficult for the person to get away from their abuser and get help.

4.      Emotional or psychological abuse - destroying a person's feeling of self-worth or independence. This can be by:

· Verbal abuse (blaming, shaming, shouting).

·Keeping a person away from their friends or family.

·Threatening or intimidating behavior.

·Controlling behavior.

 

Domestic violence happens right across society, whatever gender, race, sexuality, social class or age people are. Other names sometimes used for domestic violence are "intimate partner violence" (IPV) or "domestic violence and abuse" (DVA).

Where do we learn about relationships?

·         Family

·         Friends

·         Culture

·         Religion

·         Community

·         Media

 

What’s healthy?

·         Communication

·         Respect

·         Trust

·         Comfort

And many other factors that both partners think are necessary a healthy relationship between them.

 

What can be considered unhealthy?

·         Lack of communication

·         Dishonesty

·         Disrespect

·         Insecurity

·         Non dependable

However, some degree of conflict is normal and necessary. Every relationship goes through ups and downs. This is because no two people think exactly like eachother, much like not all five fingers are equal. What is required is then, compatibility and understanding among them. Sometimes, one may even have to compromise for the sake of the other. Of course their demand would have to be for realistic and logical.

Although conflict can help make a relationship stronger, it can often go out of hand as well. If there are signs of abuse, please forthcome to help for yourself or for others.

 

Barriers to Help

· You may think they will work it out

·  You may think, it is not that serious

· The person is always pushing their partner’s buttons

· If it was so bad they would not stay

·Its private

· The person does not seem like they could be abusive

 

How can YOU help?

·         Listen

·         Be supportive – point out their strengths

·         Support their decisions to leave

·         Connect with resources on and off campus to refer them to

 

If you intervene consider:

1. Is it a problem?

2. Check in with others because you are likely not alone in being concerned.

3. Enlist others to help you out. You can be direct or indirect.

4. Don’t ignore it, tell them you see what is going on and it is not ok.

5. Call in professional help (Police/Psychologist/Counsellors/Hotline).

 

 Help online and Further Information[4]

Abuse often leads to depression and if not then one still needs development and sustenance of courage to fight the demon out. Structured counseling and therapy can really help. ePsyClinic.com is the leader in India for Online Counseling, Just click the chat now button and instantly connect with a psychologist now or to know more about the process and fees.

Ginny NiCarthy's handbook 'Getting free' (see References below) includes a number of suggestions and exercises for building confidence and coping when life feels hard. (Some of the practical information is out of date, however.) This book also includes some ideas for meeting new people and making new contacts and friendships.

The website www.hiddenhurt.co.uk has a section on 'How to survive after separation'. There is also a short section on 'Surviving violence' in the London Borough of Haringey's publication, 'I shall survive: A practical guide'.

"Dear Lady, reading this,

if you are facing violence, be true to yourself..

You have one life, one moment. Why are you thinking about the society.. the world..the people..

Do they Think about You?

You don't have to be scarred, you are sacred! 

You don't have to be Abused, you are Abliss!

You don't have to be defeated, you are defiant! 

You don't have to give up, you are a giver!

You don't have to be beaten up, you are unbeatable! 

Rise up & Conquer! Say no to the Violence Today!" - Shipra Dawar

 

Abuse often leads to depression and if not then one still needs development and sustenance of courage to fight the demon out. Structured counseling and therapy can really help. ePsyClinic.com is the leader in India for Online Counseling, Just click the chat now button and instantly connect with a psychologist now or to know more about the process and fees.

 


[1]Aldarondo&Sugarman, 1996; Bauer, Rodriguez, & Perez-Stable, 2000; Health Canada, 1999; Hegarty, Gunn, Chondros, & Small, 2004; McFarlane &Soeken, 1994; Plichta&Falik, 2001; Stewart &Cecutti, 1993).

[2]Ahmed-Ghosh, H. (2004).Chattels of Society Domestic Violence in India.Violence against women

[3] Taken from: http://www.patient.co.uk/health/domestic-violence-leaflet

Ahmed-Ghosh, H. (2004).Chattels of Society Domestic Violence in India.Violence against women


 

 


Tags: #Domestic Violence