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Missing my Mother --- Rohit's Story

07 Sep 2016

Priya was worried about her husband Rohit. Since her mother in law expired 6 months back, Rohit seemed to have undergone a lot of change. He would miss work for days at a stretch, stay in the bed all day long saying that was too tired to do anything. Priya would often come back from office during those days to find his lunch untouched. He’d stop going out or talking to people even, and he would not make eye contact. He would stare at his mother’s photo for hours and murmur things to it. Then again he would be too driven. He would work too hard, and lose his sleep. He would work late into the night, and go to office early the next day skipping breakfast. Whenever Priya tried to confront him, he would avoid the discussion and change the topic.

 

Rohit had been suffering from grief post the loss of his mother. Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. Around us, many people are trying to cope with this aspect of human life, and while grief is inevitable, it is not easy to deal with. The more significant the loss, the more intense the grief will be. You may associate grief with the death of a loved one—which is often the cause of the most intense type of grief—but any loss can cause grief, including:

  •  Divorce or breakup
  • Loss of health
  • Losing a job
  • Loss of financial stability
  • A miscarriage
  • Retirement

 

  • Loss of a cherished dream
  • A loved one’s serious illness
  • Loss of a friendship
  • Loss of Safety
  • Loss of a pet
  • Selling the family home

 

The 5 Stages of Grief:

 

·         Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.”

·         Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?”

·         Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will ____.”

·         Depression: “I’m too sad to do anything.”

·         Acceptance: “I’m at peace with what happened.”

 

Grief is expressed physically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually.

 

·Physical expressions of grief often include crying and sighing, headaches loss of appetite, difficulty sleeping, weakness, fatigue, feelings of heaviness, aches, pains, and other stress-related ailments.

 

·Emotional expressions of grief include feelings of sadness and yearning. But feelings of worry, anxiety, frustration, anger, or guilt are also normal.

 

·Social expressions of grief may include feeling detached from others, isolating yourself from social contact, and behaving in ways that are not normal for you.

 

·Spiritual expressions of grief may include questioning the reason for your loss, the purpose of pain and suffering, the purpose of life, and the meaning of death. After a death, grieving process unfolds basis how you view death.

 

Priya finally brought Rohit to us at ePsyclinic. Here we made him realize that he had been grieving alone, and the single most important factor in healing from loss is having the support of other people.

 

Even if you aren’t comfortable talking about your feelings under normal circumstances, it’s important to express them when you’re grieving. Sharing your loss makes the burden of grief easier to carry. Wherever the support comes from, accept it and do not grieve alone. Connecting to others will help you heal. Rohit understood his mistake and after a few sessions with us and with support of his wife, he could deal with it effectively.

 

How to deal with grief?

 

ü Turn to friends and family members – Now is the time to lean on the people who care about you, even if you take pride in being strong and self-sufficient. Draw loved ones close, rather than avoiding them, and accept the assistance that’s offered.

 

ü Face your feelings. You can try to suppress your grief, but you can’t avoid it forever. In order to heal, you have to acknowledge the pain. Trying to avoid feelings of sadness and loss only prolongs the grieving process. Unresolved grief can also lead to complications such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and health problems.

 

ü Express your feelings in a tangible or creative way. Write about your loss in a journal. If you’ve lost a loved one, write a letter saying the things you never got to say; make a scrapbook or photo album celebrating the person’s life; or get involved in a cause or organization that was important to him or her.

 

ü Look after your physical health. The mind and body are connected. When you feel good physically, you’ll also feel better emotionally. Combat stress and fatigue by getting enough sleep, eating right, and exercising. Make conscious effort not be dependent on any substance to deal with it.

 

ü Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel, and don’t tell yourself how to feel either. Your grief is your own, and no one else can tell you when it’s time to “move on” or “get over it.” Let yourself feel whatever you feel without embarrassment or judgment. It’s okay to be angry, to yell at the heavens, to cry or not to cry. It’s also okay to laugh, to find moments of joy, and to let go when you’re ready.

 

Like Rohit, you can also choose to visit us. A neutral person would understand your pain and yet be able to dole out effective strategies to deal and live with it. 

 

Lastly, agreed that nobody can repair your loss but you have to move on for them who loved you and are not here today..this will let them move on too..

 

Just Click the Pink Chat Button on left and Type "Depression" to isntantly connect with a psychologist to start the sessions or know more about the process of online marital therapy and the charge

 

OR

Just Call +919069145293 now and press 1 for Instant Phone consultation with an ePsyClinic therapist/doctor!

 

 

 

How does Depression Really Feel and Why Can't people just get over it?

02 Jun 2016

 

There is a lot of misconception around why doesn't a depressed person just snap out of it or just get over it. But like any other illness, Depression is one that the person has no control on.

This is how a depressed person feels...

 

1. Please leave me alone:  Depression  hampers a person's ability to enjoy once pleasurable social interactions. Its not like they don't want too. They do try but they can't! 

2. I am no good:  No matter how good things may appear to others or how much you wish them to see the bright side, when depressed, its hard to feel good about self. The feeling is overpowering and no the person cant shake the feeling by herself. If someone tells you, shake your fever down, will you be able to...

3. I feel fatigued and weak:  A chronic fatigue engulfs a person in depression.  Muscle weakness and general fatigue all day with unexplained body aches are often present in Depression.  

4. I feel being in bed all day:  A  person loses the energy and  the motivation to get up and go on with normal routines. Please don't label them as lazy because they are not.. Depression affects the brain areas known for controlling motivation and executive functions. 

5. Crying Spells:  Things small or huge can make a person facing depression crying like a baby. The uncontrolled crying is not to gain anyone's sympathy or attention. It is something that the person has no control on. Crying makes them miserable too.. 

 

Depression doesn't pick and choose and like all other health issues, it requires treatment and therapy. When you strain your back in a football match, you don't shy away from calling your physiotherapist, then if life's hard match has made you depressed, don't shy away from seeking help from a therapist!

 

We can help Here at ePsyClinic.com

Just Click the Pink Chat Button on left and Type "Depression" to isntantly connect with a psychologist to start the sessions or know more about the process of online marital therapy and the charge

 

OR

Just Call +919069145293 now and press 1 for Instant Phone consultation with an ePsyClinic therapist/doctor!

 

 


Tags: grief, depression, loss, sadness, stress