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Women have to learn to value & love themselves too

26 Aug 2016

We are blessed to be born in a culture that encourages love, care and belongingness. However, we women mistakenly take this not as an important thing in life, but as the only thing in life.  For us our relationships become our priority and we go to any extent to keep them strong and close, even if it is at our own cost.




While it seems to work well for a while and we manage to keep everyone happy, it eventually begins to fade off. Our compromises and ignored desires keep hitting us back and we begin to feel incomplete and unhappy. Perhaps, we see ourselves as the sole bearer of everyone’s happiness while no one cares about us.


We come to feel that we are only giving and never receiving anything back; and this dissatisfaction and frustration begins to get expressed onto the relationships and people for whom we did all this.


While we hold other responsible for our emotional pain and discontent, we do not realize that this is what we have done to ourselves and not others, just like Myra.


Myra was married to her childhood friend whom she valued more than herself. She was happy in his success and supportive in his failures; and her own life felt petty in front of his.


Perhaps, his each struggle felt to her like her own, as if she was living for him. However, when she got married, she felt that now is her time.


She felt that now she has held her partner through the rough patches and he shall now be ready to hold her back. However, what she didn’t realize that she was expecting things to change altogether. This was not understandable to her partner, who was being the same as he was.


Myra began getting frustrated and this started to expel on her husband and their relationship, which was now filled with complaints, demands and fights. Myra was unhappy, her partner was unhappy.


We go farthest possible to keep our relationships intact, however, if held at the cost of our own emotions, they tend to pain us sooner or later. Perhaps, taking care or loving someone does not mean one cannot love oneself, it does not mean you cannot have desires or demands, it does not mean that you have to be perfect. You are just human and you have the necessary right to feel like one.


A woman who cannot love herself, value herself or prioritize herself cannot seek that from others either. Perhaps, you need to be able to enjoy your company and appreciate your being so you can give your best to your relationships as well. You are more than someone’s friend, daughter and wife, you are you.




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Tags: #beyourself #woman #liberty