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We had a baby as you suggested but our marriage is failing faster!

21 Feb 2017

So often when people are having marriage problems, they are told and made to believe that if we just had this or if we just accomplished that or if we just got this or just moved there, then the problems in our relationship will go away or be solved.


I was going through issues in marriage. Basically my husband was not at all responsive to my needs. He was busy, never believed I deserved his time. He thought I am working and so are you so just live and let live.

Seriously, I wanted to work on this marriage first but everyone around especially our families suggested me to have a baby with him. They said he would feel closer when he fathers my child...

Being desperate to improve upon our relationships, I decided to have a baby....

We had a baby and then hell broke loose. He being the carefree man he is, was never available for any of his familial duties. After my ceaserean, I am the one taking care of the baby. When I ask him for help, he says, get a nanny! 

Not that he doesnt love his baby, he does! He picks her up when he has too. But thats based on his wish.

I suffered more pain as a result. I am in an unhappy marriage and now a baby that is dependent on me.  I started having negative and angry thoughts for my baby and myself. Thats when I decided to seek therapy from ePsyClinic. 

I feel much better now and my husband is alsoo starting to improve. But I suffered too much in this cycle.... 

Fact of the matter is that in an Indian scenario, a baby is seen as the perfect solve to any and every marital issue you face. But alas! It is all but true! In truth, having a child can add to relationship fulfillment, but solely when we already have a lot of relationship positivity to draw upon.

A baby might be a bridge, but it is never the poles that hold it together. If the poles are not strong enough, the bridge will simply fall.

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A baby in itself is a family affair, where both the spouses have to shoulder their shares of responsibility. If one of the spouses is too busy for the other, they’re often too busy for the baby as well. So having a baby to solve this crisis will only enhance it.

Most often than not, it is the mother LIKE ME who is stuck with taking care of the baby. Taking care of the new responsibility, along with the older ones like the family and household chores often leaves the girl full of bitterness. She feels abandoned, and uncared for. And a sad woman is a sad mother and a sad wife.

A baby won’t fix the distance you feel. A baby won’t restore trust when trust has been broken. A baby won’t help you be more honest with each other. A baby won’t bring you closer spiritually. A baby won’t help you forgive. A baby won’t cause him to pursue you more. A baby won’t fix it.

Let the baby be a loving addition to your happy household, rather than a means to solve marital discord or as shackle to bind your spouse. In such a case the spouse might not leave physically, however, the heart won’t be there in the relationship. 


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So if you are having marital issues, having a baby won’t solve it.




If you are really giving up on the relationship and you see having baby may be a solution, try counseling help now. If you have already had a baby but relationship is as bitter or turned worse, then counseling and marital therapy at ePsyClinic will really help as we are experts in India in the field of emotions. We have turned many unhappy relationships in positive ones. 

IWill Therapy will not just help you in one sphere of your life. Rather it would help unsettle and break the common patterns that are causing and creating trouble for you across dimensions of life. Don't Struggle alone... Make IWill therapy your partner and strictly follow the  therapy process. We assure and guarantee that you will be a different, happier human being on the other side with situations and your destiny under your control.

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Tags: #Marriage #babyplanning #discord