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Many women describe their early marriage days as "RAGGING"

04 Aug 2016

Many homes welcome the new daughter in law as their own and rightfully try best to comfort her and make her feel part of the family as she is part of her own family. 


But in quiet a few homes even today, women experience intense Ragging in the initial days of marriage. Yes you heard it right, Ragging, just like a new college student is ragged in college.


The same ragging that pushes a college student in depression. pushes a woman too in depression, in hurt and pain that stays in for a very long time. 


Here are just 5 examples of how the new experience for some women post marriage is like ragging 


1. Taming by Rules: As soon as the woman comes in, in some homes, the rule book of the new house is explained in detail and how it is absolutely essential to follow rules of the place here which are different from where the woman is coming from.

And it doesn't only stop at explaining, in some places as soon as the woman does something not in the rule book or against the rule book, she will be pointed out at that. It is the same experience that the students in a new college go through, one that can turn a time for being happy into being nervous and anxious all the time.

2. Group & Outsider: Another thing that a woman experiences close to ragging is when she is left out of the core group of the new family. Be it any discussion or decision or matter, in some homes,she is kept out. This leads to a disconnect in whether to appreciate the new home as her own or feel like an outsider. 

3. My property: Just like senior college mates,  make the new college mates feel that the college, its people, its staff are their property more than others. Similarly post marriage in some homes, the husband aka the son or the brother is treated as property, either intentionally or unitentionally. But this definitely has an impact on the woman'shappiness, man's peace as well as family friction. 

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4. Constant watch : Just like in colleges, women in some families are under constant watch for who they speak with, where do they go, how many times do they this and that. This may seem harmless and may be there is no comment passed, however the watch initself can be draining. 

5. Not Good enough: Many women in their new days of marriage are always made to feel not good enough, especially on comparisions of cooking, family time (all traditional role comparisions) This may be done by family members to not upset the existing family members but it more or less feels ragging to the woman who is facing it.

On the contrary somebody who is new should be appreciated more so that they can feel at ease and in comfort. 

In still some homes, she may be made to really do odd things in the name of rituals. Some of these rituals are century old and can perturb a independent bright woman quiet an extent.

There are umpteen more examples where in some homes, the welcome and early years can feel like ragging.

Like ragging, its hard for person experiencing it to appreciate the people who were involved in it.

This leads woman to life long resentment and that carries on even when things have mellowed and setlled down.

So its important that early days of woman with her partner and/or family should be more pleasing and happy. 

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Tags: #depression #sad #RAGGING