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Why should men initiate therapy for relationship?

10 Jul 2016

Men avoid seeking therapy for mostly social stigma and masculine role socialization. To benefit from counseling, a man must admit that he needs help, must rely on the counselor and must openly discuss and express emotion. These requirements, conflict with traditional ideals of what it means to be male which are typically toughness, independence and emotional control. However, men’s efforts to avoid therapy, has actually made them more vulnerable to psychological problems and it is more difficult to come out it.



All men have relationship discord in abundance and it has been seen that men are most reluctant to approach a mental health care provider themselves for therapy and even if their partners have, they are still not willing to take up therapy. And, it has also been noted that those couples experience more serious problems and it becomes more difficult to overcome their problems. Whereas, for the couples, where the male partner initiates therapy resolve their problems much efficiently and the resolution is long lasting.

Ajit, 28years old, married for 3 years, came for counselling. He works for an IT company and comes from a well to do family. When he approached, he sounded very upset because he thought his marriage is about hit rock bottom.

“I feel very depressed, I just don’t know what to do. Everything seemed perfect when we got married and everything was perfect for about a year. But then things started changing. Her parents wanted to control everything in our lives. I don’t think they ever respected me either. And she felt that my parents and I want control. I don’t think she respects me either. Her parents have started to suggest her to leave me and go for a better person and have a better life. I just don’t know what to do. I love her and I want things back the way they are. I am ready to do anything for it.”

His expression about his feelings and his urgency to fix his marriage was heartfelt.  Soon, he started having a series of sessions with a relationship expert at Once the nature of his relationships with his wife and in laws were analyzed, he was given a set of exercises and was taught techniques to improve his relationships. In a few sessions, his relationships improved and today he is happy in his marriage, his wife and her parents respect him too and in the process he has experienced immense personal growth!

Interestingly, Ajit’s case took lesser sessions to get the problem resolved and the effect is much stronger than cases where the man is reluctant for therapy.

Ajit should be looked up to as an example to all men who are experiencing any kind of psychological issues because he was man enough to accept the problems which he was having and took a step to resolve it. Imagine! If everyone could be like Ajit, the world could be a much happier place!!

As, Thomas Jefferson  said, “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude” and is here to help the man every bit with the right mental attitude. 

There are several other mental health problems a man may face such as anger, stress, work adjustment issues, substance dependency or other kinds of addiction (internet, gaming, gambling, sex), body image issues, bipolar, depression, and relationship issues and may require help from a mental health professional from all of them.

If you see your marriage on the rocks, do not wait.  Time may only increase the distance, Instead seek help now!

Online Marriage Therapy at ePsyClinic can even be successful in cases where one partner is willing for therapy and the other is not.


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Tags: #man #therapy #relationship