As a woman and wife, I have always "Given Up"
31 May 2016
Samriddhi, a woman who approached epsyclinic.com had a story of being asked to Give Up.
This "Giving up" scarred her.. Her story will be relatable to many women...
1. Samriddhi was a young beautiful Gujarati Girl. She had dreams to make it big in media and communications.. But her dad found her a suitable boy who had a big business, a match he couldn't possibly wish to miss. So she was asked to "Give up" her career for the "Timebeing" to marry..
2. She loved her mother like we all do.. She couldn't imagine her day without her. But like all other women, she had to "Give Up" her home and with home, living with her mom..
3. Post her marriage.. She came into the new house with new rules.. She loved wearing western clothes like jeans and tees, she enjoyed going to movies with her friends but she was asked to "Give Up" since it was against the "culture" at her in-laws' home...
4. She started searching for jobs... finally she found one which allowed her some happiness. But soon her husband insisted that she "Gives it up" since its taking her focus away from home building.. her core job..
5. She joined a local ladies network that organised weekly get togethers and retreats. It was a fun time for her.. being with women her age, some light moments together.. She got pregnant in the meanwhile and her mother in law said that she should "give up" going out with these ladies as this can be a "bad influence on the child"
6. She used to call her mother twice or thrice a day.. Her inlaws felt that she was giving more attention to her old home and that she should be concentrating more on her new one.. She was asked indirectly to "Give up" calling her mother so frequently..
On every step she was made to "give up" everything small and big she liked... She was depressed.. and sad.. When she came to us.. this time she had given up on her life!
Through counseling we helped her regain her confidence and learning assertiveness to stand up for self... We also got her husband into counseling process to help him see how much his wife was suffering and how he needed to support her and see things from her perspective...
Don't give up in and on your life... Only you can help yourself. Being a woman doesn't mean one has to leave everything that makes a woman the person she is...
If you are facing depressive symptoms and are still unable to cope, then we at ePsyClinic.com, India's largest Online Mega Clinic for Emotional and Mental health wellness, will help you get rid of Depression
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Losing freedom after Marriage: Is this a reality?
Freedom is the most sought after, biggest need anyone has after food water and air. It is needed to be loved, to excel, to fail, to take decisions, to defeat and be defeated, most of all to be yourself!
But we see that many women in India are deprived of the most basic needs. In many families, the women never get the freedom to express themselves, to be what they are to be. They believe that freedom to women will come only after marriage when she "SETS UP' her own house.
What happens post marriage to women in majority of cases is not a liberating experience but more loss of freedom than she had before:
1. She loses the freedom to be herself, to eat food of her choice, to get up in the morning at a time she wants to and what she can wear
2. She loses the freedom to many times raise a point without offending everyone in her new home. Touch your heart and say, if its your mom and dad, don't you vehemently disagree with them on points you have difference of opinion. But such liberty in the new home is ripped off. To even say No is seen as a dissent & a decandent behavior.
3. It is still believed that women need "Permission" of their spouse and family to consider working outside. Such stripping away of human rights is highly justifiable and almost the gold standard in Modern Indian Families
4. She loses the freedom to support her own family, the same family she grew up in, the same family she was a part for more than half her life, the same parents who woke up all night taking care of her. How human is this stripping off of basic freedom?
5. She loses the freedom to laugh out loud, to have fun. It is in many families believed that a wife has to have a certain decor and demeanour.
All these core five freedom losses only lead a woman into further hopelessness and depression.
No matter how much money you have, nothing in this world replaces Freedom to be.
That is the crux of the problem and it needs to be stopped. Women need to get assertive of their own rights and needs. They need to step up not just in in-laws home but in their parents' home too.
"Stepping up for self rights is not defiance, is not being a rebel, it simply means being RIGHT" - Shipra Dawar
If you are a woman who has suffered in life because of issues at home and feel depressed and hopeless, we can help you get past this vicious circle of negativity and hopelessness!
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Tags: #MARRIAGE #LOVE #FREEDOM #HAPPINESS
Tags: #woman #giveup #leave #sad