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Can Husband and Wife be friends ?

27 May 2016

Rahul and Ananya met each other in college. Going to the same class each day both started getting closer to each other.

As time passed their bond grew deeper and they became great friends. They spoke everyday to each other for hours, shared notes, visited each other’s houses and went out for movies together. Soon enough they realized they had started developing feelings for each other. Thus, after a long friendship of 1 year both decided to date each other and then after 2 years finally both tied the knot. While no one could ever imagine Rahul and Ananya separately, the sacred bond of friendship and understanding that they shared did not last longer than 2 years. Date nights turned into complaining dates, telephonic conversations were replaced with text messages which too were only functional in nature and slowly that too faded away. Today, Rahul and Ananya have been married for 3 years and both are almost on the verge of separation. While Ananya is suspecting Rahul to have an affair with someone at his office, Rahul has begun to see Ananya as a nagging wife who keeps complaining all day.


What do you think could have happened that from being the best of friends they today, can’t even stand the presence of each other?


Its often said that a Man and Woman compliment each other. While one is strong physically, the other is stronger emotionally. While one likes to talk more the other is a patient listener and so on.. Suggesting that at all levels a man and a woman are naturally wired to be best friends. More so, we all have even  somewhere heard things like there is always a “friend” in a girl friend/boyfriend indicating that love comes before friendship. Or may even seen movies endorsing the same concepts such as “pyardostihai” “mujhsedostikaroge” and many more! Yet, as time passes we forget these things.


Just as Rahul and Ananya from being such close friends once upon a time have today reached to a point where both cant stand each other, we see many couples experiencing the same each day.


The question often arises what is that comes between them that people even forget the bond that they once shared- is it families, it is the daily responsibility, is it over-expectations from one another, financial differences or what not. While the reasons may be innumerable, are they even worth it?


I strongly believe as a therapist and a relationship expert that the beauty and control ones relationship is in no one else’s but in their own hands. Yes, there will certainly be stressors in the environment which will disturb the couple but again the responsibility of the couple lies in holding their relationship erect inspite of all odds.


Some of the tips a couple might consider in keeping away the negativity of their relationship are-


·         Trust Each Other: Trust is the foremost and the most important aspect of any relationship. For a relationship to be strong it is essential that the partners involved in it learn to trust and have faith in each other and each other’s intentions.

·         Communication: Communication again is a vital part of any relationship, be it a romantic relationship, friends, family or even work-bound relationships. Open and clear communication always paves away for the misunderstandings to disappear.

·          Couple Time: While we may be social beings surrounded by a number of people around us, it is almost essential for every couple to take out sometime for each other. For instance, even half an hour each day with your partner may do wonders in keeping you two close to each other.

·         Joint Activities: Having common goals even for the smallest things in life help in bringing a couple close to each other. It could be something as simple as cooking a meal together or may be going for a swim together.

·         Me-time: A point which may look a little different from the ones mentioned above but yet one of the most important points is to have some me-time each day for ones ownself. It is often said that happiness and sadness have ripple effects, if one is happy they often spread happiness and vice versa. Thus, a me-time will help an individual to be more in touch with themselves as well as deal with their stressors in a positive way. Some of the activities which you may consider during this time are- pursuing a hobby, meditating, reading a book, going for a spa/massage etc.


At, we can help you re-build you bond with your partner via the process of relationship counseling that you can avail while sitting at your own convenient location.

Just Click the Pink chat button on bottom left of the page and type "MR" to instantly connect with a psychologist and know more about the process and charges. 


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Tags: #epsyclinic #couple counseling #friendship