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Anmol Is A Victim of Domestic Abuse... He is a Man...

25 May 2016

Anmol, a bank executive married for 2yrs to his childhood friend Smitha. Anmol had helped Smitha through a rough phase of drug abuse in college days. And then while working in the same MNC they had fallen in love. Everything was going very well between for the 1st 1.5yr.

One evening Anmol and Smitha went out with common friends for a night out where Smitha was very drunk. In the drunken state she started abusing Anmol, which left him speechless. He could not understand what was happening. He convinced himself that this was alcohol talking.

But he was wrong. Over the next few weeks this started becoming a regular pattern where a small argument would lead to whole lot of verbal abuse and dirty accusations by Smitha. She would throw around things and be really very mad. At 1st Anmol thought that this was just anger and she would come around. But he was beginning to get scared.

The abuse reached its height when one morning on not closing the shower properly Smitha got so angry that she tried to bang Anmol’s head with the bathroom wall and then bit him very hard on his arm. Anmol had now begun to fear for his safety.

It was turmoil for him. He could not tell anyone. What would all think of him…”what a man who gets beaten up by his wife”? Would they believe him? Will even police complain help him…will talking to his friends help? He didn’t know what to do… he feared to go home..to reply to his wife… he feared to even open his mouth. He was shocked…anxious a lot was going on his mind.

 

 

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When you think of a victim of domestic abuse, who comes to mind?

If you’re being honest, it’s probably a woman. After all, domestic violence against men isn’t a theme of many Bollywood movies. 

Yet in 2010, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released data from its National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey — I am sure you too would be shocked to see it.

According to the CDC’s statistics (USA) — estimates based

·         roughly 5,365,000 men had been victims of intimate partner physical violence in the previous 12 months, compared with 4,741,000 women.

·         By the study’s definition, physical violence includes slapping, pushing, and shoving. 

·         More severe threats like being beaten, burned, choked, kicked, slammed with a heavy object, or hit with a fist were also tracked. Roughly 40 percent of the victims of severe physical violence were men.

·          The CDC repeated the survey in 2011, the results of which were published in 2014, and found almost identical numbers — with the percentage of male severe physical violence victims slightly rising.

Like Anmol, all men who are victim of physical or verbal abuse go through myriads of emotions. There multiple reasons to it:

 

1.    Shock: initial feelings always arise from shock at what is happening to self.

2.    Fear of being a laughing stock: woman-on-man violence is often turned into onscreen amusement, like on a slew of reality shows — or the punch line of a larger, depressing narrative

3.    Fear of being heard and believed: Society supports that men should not hit women, by virtue — but the same is not true for the reverse.The fact is, it’s simply not acceptable to hit anyone.

4.    To a large extent even from a legal point to prove woman-on-man violence is most often a challenge.

 

When Anmol, came to me for therapy he displayed symptoms of mild depression coupled with Anxiety. His depression was around the feeling of self-doubt which were arising from the constant mocking by his wife. A kind of emotional abuse. Anxiety was related to threat and inability to do much.

 

With the help of therapy Anmol was able to see, that he was not responsible for what was happening. The acceptance and an ear helped him see alternatives to his situation. Anmol eventually gathered the strength to confide in his family and that of his wife. We even helped him work on be assertive to his wife, while he sought legal help. Anmol was once again able to regain his confidence and self. 

If you are depressed or want to work on your relationship then we at ePsyClinic.com are here to help you. ePsyClinic.com is the largest online relational, emotional and mental wellness Clinic in India 

 

 

Type your message in the Chat  To connect instantly & privately to an expert EPsyClinic psychologist NOW

 

 

Type your message in the Chat  To connect instantly & privately to an expert EPsyClinic psychologist NOW

 


Tags: #husband #wife #relationships #abuse #silent victim