More than Love, as a wife my looks matter!
07 Mar 2016
I grew up in a modern Maharashtrian family. I had 2 siblings. My parents were working and my father not only helped my mother in daily chores but he also genuinely loved her for who she was.
I grew up with a wish and a belief that you love a person for her inner qualities and not for her looks.
I grew up to be a self-confident individual who had good friends and strong family. I was a tall and attractive from the beginning.
I never thought it could ever make a difference to my personality. People around seem to like me for what I was an intelligent, smart, well read and an all-rounder.
I never felt that looks were important. I studied Law and took up a well -paying job as a corporate lawyer.
But I was wrong! At the age of 27yrs I got married to Akash, a competent lawyer too. It was an arrange marriage. Akash was a good looking man too.
People around mentioned we made a perfect couple.
Soon over the next 7yrs I got busy with building my family and work. I gave birth to a beautiful girl.
But now after her birth one thing about me has changed. My physical attraction!! It’s been 4yrs but I have been unable to lose my pregnancy weight.
I very well manage work and home. I am a good mother and wife. But I realise that all this, does not matter. It hurts when my husband looks at other women while we go to malls or when we are at the restaurant. I seem him checking those women.
When he comes to buy clothes with me, number of times he makes me realise of my size by passing remarks like, “this will not look good on you, it’s good for slimmer bodies”. “When I dress up and ask him how am I looking”, he would say “how does it matter”.
I have stopped loving myself, I hate to look up in the mirror. My confidence has been beaten and it has lead me to have a downfall in career too. I can’t imagine my child disliking me for my weight. That would be the final blow.
(Note: This story has been shared by Anita and she wanted ePsyClinic to Share it )
This is the story of MAJORITY of women in India. They feel being discriminated and ridiculed for their looks. And looks seem to be playing more pivotal role in judging women than men.
Anita had come to ePsyClinic with symptoms of depression and feeling of dissatisfaction in her marital life. She was becoming an irritable person who could snap at the smallest issue. When we looked deeper into her relation and lack of self-confidence, we could understand where this was coming from. We were able to get Akash too in the counselling session and they benefited a lot in couple counselling:
Akash was able to see the effect of his remarks and lack of in his wife, was creating feelings of depression.
· He was also able to realise that his comments were making it more difficult for her to lose weight or even care about it.
· Unknowingly Akash had watered feelings of insecurity in their married life.
· Helping Anita work on her self- image and perception of herself, helped her to come out of her depression and helping her husband see how he was part of the problem, we could get this couple back on track!
Looks are not what define a person. Its their love for you! Cherish it!
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Tags: #looks #woman