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What does a Husband want and Does the wife really know?

17 Feb 2016

We have all heard that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Is that all that makes a man happy? No! They look at their wives in the true sense of companionship, someone who can understand them and someone who can walk shoulder to shoulder. Then what is stopping us women to see this change?

It is the great communication Wall

At ePsyclinic we conducted a survey and asked 400 men and women these questions:

What are the top 5 things that women think men need from their relationship and the woman they love?

Here is what women felt and had to say:

1.       Respect for his family.

2.       Intimacy and sexual activity.

3.       Attractive looks

4.       Homely and a good cook

5.       Should be dependant and ask before doing things.

Interestingly what men really want from the woman in the relationship is very different.

Here are the top 5 things that men seek in relationship:

1. Becoming an indispensable part of their family, just like how they are. They want their partners to get as much as love as they get from their own family.

2.Being loved and expressing their love for their partners. Men see intimacy as one of the most important ways of expressing love.

3.Men enjoy when women look confident and stand apart from the crowd.

4. Affection & Love 

5. The men of today feel attracted towards women who can make independent decisions and work.

Do you see the striking difference in the how we perceive what is important to men and what actually is?

Do we blame the women for not knowing their man? Not really! It is the gap in being able to communicate clearly with your partner.

Anjali (25) got married to her college sweetheart. She felt that no one could understand her better than him. It was a complete shock when she got married. She was devastated to know that now everything revolved around his mother. She felt that all that mattered to him was to please his mother. Anjali had countless arguments and fights with her husband. They had now reached a stage where she contemplated a divorce.

Let us hear from Anuj (Anjali’s husband) what he has to say.. I know my mother very finicky and this is difficult for Anjali. Nothing more matters to me than Anjali’s happiness and thus try and guide her how to become a part of family. However Anjali thinks I take my mother’s side always while it is just me trying to make her adjust in the new family. I feel like a complete failure for not being able to do anything and making Anjali unhappy. May be I am doing something wrong but as a child, this is how I pleased my mother and this is what I try telling Anjali.. You telll me what should i do?

Anjali never understood Anuj as he never told her the reason for him giving the suggestions he gave. She felt he was directive towards her and a complete mama’s boy. Had he communicated to Anjali of why he is doing what he is doing, atleast the intent of his actions would have been clear to Anjali. Whether Anuj's way of trying to do it may or may not be questionable but his statements help us know that his mediation was only out of love for Anjali.

If this sound like your story then please express clearly and communicate with each other what you really want.  Never be shy, nor let ego or fear get in between.. You love each other and that is the main thing! Don't let the lack of communication act as a spoiler!


If as a couple, you are failing to understand each other's needs and the communication pattern between you two has gone haywire, causing a lot of emotional distress and pain, fights and discord, then here at ePsyClinic, India's top relationship & marital experts can help you gain relational wellness.

Sign up now for a couple counseling session (Just click the GREEN chat button and Type "Hi" to know the process for couple/individual relation counseling) 

Also read : what does Wife want from her Husband here


Tags: #relationship #400 couples #thinking patterns