Homemakers give everything to us! What they need in return is love & respect
17 Jan 2016
“A homemaker has the ultimate career, all other careers exist only for one purpose- and that is to support the ultimate career” – C S Lewis
Arti gave up her career as a HR Consultant to be a stay home mother. However she feels a complete lack of appreciation. “My husband now walks in the house and anything that is not done according to him calls for comments like ‘what do you do at home all day long’. It hurts me. I feel unvalued. I do the most thankless job in the world.” Arti feels helpless as she has given a 5 year break in her career and now it is very difficult to get back to work. She feels dependant on her husband for everything. She feels that she isn’t the person she used to be. Arti lacks the enthusiasm and often finds herself dragging her feet around the house.
Most women who choose to be at home resonate these feelings at some point of time or the other. While for them it is a huge sacrifice that they are making, the family never seems to acknowledge it. More hurting for them is when after slogging the entire day around the house with the chores they get to hear how unimportant their work is and no body appreciates them for their efforts. If not for them the house would be looking not how it does when the family enters the house after a day’s work.
A housewife is a doctor, a chef, a banker, a housekeeper and many other roles rolled up in one. Unlike other jobs this one has no job description and no working hours and strangely no rewards. There is no one to pat her back to say ‘very good job’. Even the children seem to take her for granted and see very little value in the sacrifices she makes for them in order to be around.
This lack of appreciation and acknowledgement of their contribution can be extremely frustrating. Most women start to undervalue themselves which gives rise to low self-esteem and lack of confidence. Often there is a time when you start doubting your own capabilities and life seems to be meaningless with no sense of purpose. It is not uncommon for women to suffer from psychological issues such as stress, anxiety or depression. In a recent study it was seen that housewives are more prone to depression than working women. A 4% increase in substance abuse cases among women has been seen and one of the main reasons was seen as loneliness faced by housewives.
If you are a homemaker and do not feel good about it. Here is what you can do to change the way your life is at the moment:
1. Looking at your Contribution: A homemaker contributes to the household selflessly. You wake up at a particular time for others; help them going for the day. It is important for you to feel that things will not be as smooth as they are for anyone without what you do for them.
2. Making a list of things that you have accomplished: If you find yourself doubting your capabilities, make a list of all that you have accomplished in the past. You have achieved it once you can surely do it again if you wish to achieve them.
3. Clearly speaking to your partner about the importance of your work at home: Your partner should know what you feel is ‘work’ and how you keep going day after day. Communicate the need for being appreciated. If you feel that you get hurt by the attitude your partner has towards you, you can speak about how it is affecting you.
4. Making children understand about the importance about your being at home: Children are quick to learn about each person’s place in the family. It is important that you talk to them about your role as a homemaker and how important that is for everyone’s wellbeing.
5. Having a daily routine: A fixed daily routine gives more time for a lot of other activities. Get dressed every day for yourself. Have a time where you spend time with yourself listening to music and sipping some tea.
6. Getting Help: Having someone to help you around with the chores can be quite a relief. It can take the burden of your head and leave you less exhausted.
7. Pursuing a Hobby: If you are fond of painting, dancing singing or anything else pursue it while your family is out of the house. This will boost up you feeling of self-worth.
8. Having a goal for yourself: Make a goal to achieve something for yourself. It could be simply learning a new cuisine or being more technically equip. Having an agenda bring more purpose to your life.
9. Getting physically fit: Spend at least 30 mins every day in a workout. This will make you feel more energetic and also much healthier.
10. Appreciate yourself: Wait for no one else to appreciate you for your contribution. Pat your back when you feel that you have done a good job of something. Don’t expect others to bring a smile on your face.
11. Seeing a Professional: If you feel that persistent isolation and loneliness is affecting or being a homemaker has completely left you devalued in your own eyes see a Psychologist or a Counselor, who can help you get happiness back in your life.
At ePsyClinic, the help is a step away. If you could identify with the symptoms and reasons mentioned in this article, its time you seek help for yourself and your loved ones now!
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