Moms are prone to depression within a few years of giving birth!
17 Jan 2016
Ankita was blessed with a daughter a year back. While for her it was a much awaited baby but after the baby was born, things changed drastically in her life. She was always exhausted, irritable and would cry on small things.
She felt neglected by her husband as according to her his actions were enough to suggest that he wasn’t interested. While she tried to speak to him about his responsibilities as a father and as a husband and her own difficulties as a new mom they ended up fighting. What hurt her most was when her husband would say “you aren’t the only one in the world who has given birth to a baby”.
While she may not be the first one to undergo the difficulties faced by her, support from the spouse can surely make it easier. I am sure a lot of women can relate to this.
Motherhood is surely very overwhelming and does bring about a lot of changes in a couple’s life. While there is an added responsibility of child rearing, this is also a time when most of us struggle to climb the ladder in our professional life, finances are to be planned and household chores. It is that time in life when we feel the maximum chaos. While the working women feel that they are torn between their professional life and their home, homemakers feel wasted. Many women report of neglecting themselves. A typical scenario till you child turns 3 and starts school.
Amidst all the chaos we may not even know that there is a psychological issue that we might be facing. Here are some of them:
· Sleep disturbances
· Low self esteem
· Crying Spells
· Anger Outbursts
Factors responsible for the above symptoms are:
1. Lack of appreciation
2. Too many responsibilities and excessive work load both at home and at workplace
3. Perceived loneliness
4. Differences with partner and feeling of neglect
5. Professional stagnation
Here are some ways in which you can strike the right balance:
Plan your day: It is always best to plan for the day especially if you are a new mom or if your child is a toddler. Having a daily schedule really helps. This will help you accomplish whatever you wish to in a day and you wouldn’t be anxious ‘Oh when will I do this or that!’ You can have a designated time for each task in hand. This will make life easier not only at work but also at home.
Divide responsibilities in the house: You and your husband can divide responsibilities with regard to child rearing as well as house hold responsibilities. While one can take the child to the park, the other can help in feeding.
Keep your expectations from yourself achievable: Expectation of being ‘best mom’, ‘best wife’, ‘best employee’ can very pressurising. Do your best but keep those expectations low.
Take help: With toddlers at home, life can be very hectic. Keeping a domestic help is a good idea. You should take as much as help that you can get. Don’t shy away from that.
Enjoying the Phase: It is important we enjoy this phase while the kids are still growing and avoid looking back with regret. The regret though temporary fills us with guilt which is not healthy.
Spend some ‘Me time’: It is important to spend some time doing what you like, pursue a hobby or just pampering yourself.
Spend Quality Time with your Partner: Value time that you get with your partner. Enjoy each other’s company. Talk about things that you enjoy, discuss serious issue and laugh on silly jokes. Avoid talking about problems and people.
Keep yourself healthy and happy: Exercise on a daily basis. It not only keeps you fit but makes you feel confident about the way you look. Exercising helps in releasing the feel good hormones in your body. Keep a designated 45 minutes for a good vigorous work out. You and your partner can have the same fitness regime. This will give you an added opportunity to bond.
Take Professional Help: If you feel that you are unable to cope with your current life situation which is causing distress in your life. See a Psychologist or a Counselor who can assist you towards mental wellness.
While this is a phase which is exhausting and has numerous challenges, we should not forget to enjoy this time with our toddlers. They need to feel loved and wanted which has a positive impact on them. Embrace motherhood with a smile with love in your heart!
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Tags: #Depression #young moms