Men TOO need lots of love and admiration for a sound emotional health!
01 Jan 2016
We always talk about women being at the receiving end in our society and it is true as well. But Men have their own issues. They slog 18 hours a day at times to keep their family life running. As much as they would want to, a career break for his own wellbeing is not an option.
The realities will and should change in the future but for now a man doesn't have the option for a free-willed sabbatical from work. The thing he has at his disposal to unwind and be happy is the love from his family. From 90% of men we have interviewed, they cite that the most happy moments for them are when they see their respective families happy and when they get some appreciation that in fact they are doing good for their respective families and that they proud of him.
Rishabh is 30yrs old and works in the MNC as a Software Engineer. A year ago he got married. His wife is a homemaker. They do not have children. They are planning to have one now. They live in a joint family. From past two weeks his friends and colleagues have noticed a drastic change in his behaviour. His mental, and emotional state reflects that something is not going right in his life. Initial few months of married life were perfect bliss for him. As the days passed frequent arguments or verbal fights at home brought him down emotionally and mentally, he was unable to understand his wife’s reactions. Rishabh due to pent up negative feelings (feeling of devalued, inferiority, incompetency) has lost all his hope about bringing change in this situation. He has formed a belief that this is now his fate. He has to live his life like this.
There are number of reasons that bring disagreements between a couple. Reasons can range from issues related to managing finances, in-laws over involvement, lack of time for each other, incompatibility in personality, personal habits, parenting children, sexual intimacy etc.
But that doesn't change one thing and that is men need love too. They need applause for a job well done, love and admiration for taking care of their family and their wife. Often we forget that men are only human and thus appreciation, emotional comfort is their core need too. They are not the heartless stones or machines that are wired only to give affection and not expect emotional care in return.
Lack of love and a happy home environment is one of the leading cause of chronic stress and Persistent Mild depression in men. Persistent Mild depression (Dysthymia) in the long run is more hazardous for one's overall health!
Following are the tips that can help
Never fight. No matter what the issue, discuss as opposed to quarrel.
Men should openly Express their wishes and desires of warmth and closeness from their partners.
Accept that marital relationship will have its ups and down. Focus on the goal to improving the relationship.
Mutual respect and admiration is the gold formula for a happy family life
Show Men that they are valued, needed too. They do take a lot of stress for their families. Some of the things that happen at work , they tolerate only because they have to take care of their families. So the homes are the places where they feel most at ease.
If your marriage or home environment is not conducive and it has caused you mental pain and agony and frustration.
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Tags: #men #love #emotionalhealth