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Do you think Domestic Abuse is a thing of past in Modern India? No its still very much present and a leading cause of Depression in Women

31 Dec 2015

Modern India…. a new generation country with a maximum population in its youth…. A developing nation….young minds, open minds! …..

*These jargons make every Indian feel, that the people of this country are modern, open to accepting women on an equal pedestal. They are civilised, tolerant, resilient and dynamic. But is this really true? Violence against women in India is going side by side to the technological improvement in modern world in the country.


An article was recently published in Reuter’s online news bulletin “Domestic abuse plagues India's upper crust”. We believed, for years that education was a solution to all the problems that plague a society. However, we have come to realise that in today’s India, domestic violence is just as much rampant as it was before. What has really changed, is that this violence is as much seen in high socioeconomic strata as it’s seen amongst poor and uneducated families.   

Rekha Jain, (Name Changed But a True Story!) aged 41yrs, with 2 children in their teens. She has been victim to domestic violence for 15yrs of her 20yrs of marriage. Both the spouse are very well educated and are working in the top notch financial firms of Pune.


 All that Rekha remembers about her marriage is the violence behind closed doors. Unpredictable behaviour of her husband, who could get abusive for anything; from not cooking his favourite food, to not offering him a cup of tea with a smile on her face, to talking sweetly to one of her guy friends. 

Verbal abuses at her were part of every conversation they had. Physical abuse after alcohol was so brutal that it often lead to aches and pains for weeks. Yet, they were so subtle that no one could see them in her corporate world.


She is among millions of Indian women, from all classes, who are abused by their husbands.


1,052 mothers participated in the Environmental Risk (E-Risk) Study. These women were suffering from mild to moderate depression. However, their was no family history of depression or mental illnesses. Only subjects with no previous history of depression were considered for the study. Correlation of their case history determined one common determinant amongst many such women.

·         It was seen that, more than one third of the women reported suffering violence from their spouses (e.g., being pushed or hit with an object, most of them also reported being forced into sex).

·         Domestic violence had an impact not just on mood but on other mental health aspects as well. These women had a three times higher risk of developing schizophrenia-like psychotic symptoms.

If as a woman you have suffered emotional, financial and domestic abuse and this has left you distraught, emotionally numb and caused you immense agony, help is right here.

 Just Click on the Green chat button and Type "Hi" to talk to a relationship & women wellness psychologist and know more about process for online counseling.




Impact of domestic violence:


Loss of confidence and dignity: most husbands who hit their wives, justify this by saying “she provoked me towards it”, “I was not left with a choice, she deserves it”, “she has brought me so much stress that I can’t stop but get angry with her”.

As a result of this ongoing violence, women come to believe that they truly our one responsible for this violence. They start believing that they deserve this and are not worth anything better.


Poor interpersonal relations: loss of confidence and a constant verbal abuse leaves most women in this situation; incapable of forming any strong relation outside their marriage.


Social Isolation: Many women who have been victims of domestic abuse, have reported cutting off their social ties with their family member and close friends. Most often the reason behind their fights have been these relations and as a result to reduce the chance of argument these women choose to isolate themselves.



Living in constant fear: unpredictable behaviour of husband and his sudden anger outburst lead to a constant fear in women.

Rekha Jain, after 15years of ordeal gathered the courage to leave her husband. Yet, even today most night she experiences nightmares. She dreams of the many occasions when she was beaten up, forced to have sex or abused verbally. Her ordeal is a lifelong thing.


Adverse effect on child rearing and his/her personality: other than the women, a direct victim to domestic violence are the children. The effect of seeing their parents in a constant fight and mother beaten up is so severe, that it often leaves to various personality disorders in them.


Depression and psychotic symptoms: one of the major outcome of ongoing domestic violence is depression and psychosis in women. Since, it injures not just the body but more severely the Mind!!.

Take a free depression assessment here 



Ways to cope and treatment:


Prevention is better than cure. This is very important in cases of domestic violence.


Most women in their dating times or early marriage, ignore signs and symptoms of problematic behaviour in their partner.


Some important signs that should be paid attention to, would be:


Over reaction to small issues.

Anger outburst in terms of breaking things/hailing verbal abuses/minor acts of slapping.

Signs of strong dislike towards the girlfriend having her own set of friends, especially friends from opposite sex.

Signs of unfaithfulness.

Constant suspicious behaviour and over possessive affection.

Physical fights with others and unstable relations with people around. 

Alcohol or drug abuse.

Constant disrespect towards partners rights, feeling, friends, opinions or even career goals.

Emotional abuse by partner. To know what are signs of being emptionally abused, Read here 


Coping with domestic violence:


Ø  Gather courage and talk to the right people


Ø  Be aware and get to know your legal rights. Go to police, go to a lawyer or a social agency working in this cause.


Ø  Don’t believe and succumb to social pressure.


Ø  Make small initiatives in the direction of financial independence.


Ø  Take help from a mental health professional asap. Give yourself a chance to vent out, share your pain and suffering with other. Take the opportunity to build new reasons to live life. 

If as a woman you have suffered emotional, financial and domestic abuse at the hands of your husband and this has left you distraught, emotionally numb and caused you immense agony, help is right here. 


 Just Click on the Green chat button and Type "Hi" to talk to a relationship & women wellness psychologist and know more about process for online counseling.


Tags: #Domestic Abuse #women #pain #depression