Increasing Anxiety issues in Indian Men
06 Dec 2015
The everyday struggles of life and the assumed duties of family and work have come to make men feel rather pressurized and anxious.
While women’s fears and distress have come to be recognized, no one talks about the inner struggles of a man. Perhaps, they themselves fail to recognize their distress and voice it out.
It has become rather difficult to sit back and think what one desires or feels. From the struggle to manage finances to the attempt to pay the dues timely, men are constantly amidst the chaos that they are trying to sort. This everyday struggle, sadly, fails to find an ear to talk to.
“Mohit is a young father. He lives with his wife and his daughter is now 2 years old. He works at an MNC, while his wife has left her job to take care of the child. This is was a mutual decision. While Mohit cherishes the time he spends with his family, it is so little that he can count those hours on his fingers. Mohit earns well enough to pay the monthly bills, but with the growing needs of the family, the planning is getting tougher and his stress higher. He is constantly worried about the future, his work deadlines, his boss’s meetings and his family’s needs. Living through all this, Mohit cannot talk to his wife as she will get stressed and perhaps, he can’t afford to disappoint his family”.
Mohit has been suffering from anxiety issues for past 1 year and perhaps, his need to maintain the ‘strong father’ image is not allowing him to talk about it with his family. Some of the symptoms of his anxiety issues include:
· Uneasiness and constant worry
· Thinking about one thing all the time
· Finding it hard to stop worrying
· Feeling irritable
· Low concentration
· Negative thoughts
· Irrational fears
· Shortness of breath
· Irregular sleep
· Easily tired
· Feeling restless
· Hot or cold flashes
· How will I manage everything?
· I don’t want to be a failure.
· I don’t want to disappoint my family.
· What will happen to my family if I die?
· It is all because of me.
· What am I doing with my life?
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While one may experience only some of them or may experience one much more than others, they do tend to highlight the anxiety issues one is going through. It is important to understand and counter them before they affect our personal relationships, social life and health.
Reasons of Anxiety
· Unrealistic expectations- we often set our aims unrealistically high and not being able to achieve them makes us feel anxious. Perhaps, each time we try and fail and tell ourselves how unworthy we are.
· Comparison- looking at others often makes us realize the deficiencies in our lives, which makes us question our abilities.
· Fear of failure- only if someone said “it’s okay to fail”, things would be so much different. We have always been taught to succeed and it often puts too much pressure on us.
· Being weak: men often feel that their breakdowns or failures will make them a ‘weak man’ in front of their family. Perhaps, this thought makes them want to perform better and better and adds to the stress and anxiety.
·Everyday chores- paying bills, reaching on time, finishing work, meeting deadlines, picking the child from school and what not. This everyday rush keeps adding to the anxiety of performing every task in the best way.
· Feeling of guilt- it can make one feel rather miserable when one sees that they are not able to provide much to the family. This guilt is enough to take over one’s emotional and physical health.
· Be Aware of Yourself- while women are emotionally centered and can see what is bothering them, men tend to ignore their emotions. It is important to sit back and realize what is affecting you.
· Men do Talk- as difficult as it may seem, talking to someone can really help you lessen your anxiety and stress. It also helps the other person know what you are going through and help you in certain ways.
· Do not take too much onto yourself- You Are Just Human. It is okay to not be able to perform and fail and disappoint. Don’t make it bigger than it is and perhaps, it was never your sole responsibility anyway.
· Sort things out- it may seem too much to deal with when everything is going out of control. Hence, it is important that you make a list and sort what all needs attention and prioritize them.
· Plan in advance- when we know what bothers us- missing deadlines, not managing finances or perhaps, time management, it is best to be prepared for it in advance and plan accordingly. Don’t leave it for last minute.
· You are in Control- yes, others’ lives seem to be much flowery but they all have their moments. Don’t compare with others and realize that you are still in control of your life and can turn it the way you want.
· Don’t give up your wishes- While responsibilities often leaves no time and resources to follow our wishes, it is still best to keep them alive in some way or the other. If playing that guitar gave you happiness or travelling was peaceful, don’t give up on it so easy. That will still make you smile and feel worthy.
·Seek Help- when things go terribly out of control, it is often difficult to find a direction of where to start from. The best in such a case is to seek professional help who can make you understand what you are feeling and how you can make things better. Who doesn’t want to be listened to and still not be judged!
There is a Mohit in so many of us that still needs to be heard and free oneself from the undue pain and struggles. Alas, we tend to take the stress also as our responsibility and fail to realize that it needs to stop. It is important to distinguish between ‘duties’ and ‘distress’. You don’t deserve to go through so much just because you are a ‘Man’.
With the steady rise of anxiety in Indian men, it’s
imperative to go beyond stigma and consult qualified
professionals in the nick of time. The sooner the
consultation, the sooner is the recovery. Anxiety is
treatable and requires efforts on the part of both the
afflicted and the family members to seek immediate
treatment. And the time is NOW.
If you are battling Anxiety Issues in silence,
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Tags: #Anxiety Disorder #Man