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If your marriage is in an unhappy phase with differences and misunderstandings: This could be the solution

23 Nov 2015

A year and a half into marriage, and Jai and Seema, were already on the verge of a complete breakdown and had only fights and arguments making them wonder why they got married in the first place.

No, its not that they were strangers, considering they were dating for 5 years prior to marriage, yet before they knew they couldn’t stand each other any more. Parents, sibling, extended families, friends etc. everyone intervened and tried to get the two together yet, nothing helped, may be it made things only worse!

What could have happened? What was so intense that their 5-year old relationship prior to their wedding just went down the drain in a year and a half? Were they not compatible suddenly? Or was it that they fell out of love? A number of questions come to our mind when we hear of about such troubles in a marriage! 

Marital Discord rates & Divorce rates all around India are soaring high. Around 25% marriages in India face severe discord issues and 1 in 100 actually end up in divorce while for remaining, living together becomes a compulsion more than a desire 

While there may be a number of issues between a couple, and each couple splitting due to a unique reason, the underlying reason is unhappiness.

Most common Discord Reasons 

In-Laws & Dynamics 


Responsibility & Role Dynamics 


Personality Differences 

Different Values & Life expectations 

No time for each other 

Differences in opinion

A cycle of arguments


Most people enter marriages with a notion, that it will be the end to all their problems, and they will live happily ever after. Seldom do people understand that Marriages are a start to various complexities in life, which need to be handled with utmost care, affection and intelligence in order to make it simplify it.

However, though it may seem tough to balance so many aspects of life, post marriage, just like there’s a solution to every problem, every marriage to has a way to be worked upon.


Marital or Relationship therapist is a professional who is trained to deliver marital therapy that is, help couples identify and resolve their issues as well as strengthen their relationship.


What is Marriage Counseling?

Marriage counseling, also called couples therapy, is a type of therapy that helps couples of all types recognize and resolve conflicts and improve their relationships drastically by seeing other's perspective in a more non judgemental array and also make changes in one's outlook and behavior towards other partner.

Here At IWill by, This Marital Counseling Process is available completely online asnd is done by India's best Marital Expert Psychologists. 

Just click the purple chat button to instantly connect with an epsyclinic psychologist and start marital therapy sessions after discussion


Process of Couple Counseling

When we have been in a relationship or marriage for a long time it can be easy to fall into a trap of not listening to the other person or not communicating our needs clearly. Talking to someone with no connection to yourself or your partner and someone who is an expert in actually helping the partners see through differences does miracle!

 What couples counseling offers here is the chance to speak to someone with no preconceived notions of who you are as a couple, with the added bonus of having skills and training behind them to guide you through your concerns

Counselors deliver a professional service in a non-judgmental, safe, reassuring atmosphere. They listen to you, help you to clarify your difficulties, facilitate you to express your thoughts and feelings, help you to explore your options and decide an appropriate course of action.


Couple Counseling Happens in Three Phases-


1. Introduction and Identification Phase

This is the first phase of therapy where the counselor begins to understand the couple and the dynamics between them. This phase mainly involve identifying issues, expectations as well as introspecting into ones own personality and patterns.

While Couples Therapy is typically done with couples, in cases where either partners may not agree for therapy, the process of counseling can also begin with one partner itself.  In such cases, Counselors with the help of one party begin to design the mode of therapy in a way, where the shifts in the relationship can be brought about by via one partner as well.

Working with couples and individuals a Relationship Counselor intends to provide a safe environment where spouses and partners can express thoughts and feelings, that may be very difficult to express in the home or may lead to conflict and further difficulties at home, in a calm, measured and safe environment. This can lead to spouses and partners gaining further understanding of themselves, their spouse and partner, and their situation, which can in turn lead to better communication, an improved relationship and better management of existing difficulties and those that may arise in the future.


2. Resolution Phase


Once the issues have been identified and the personality types of each partner has been analyzed the step 2 involves, resolution of issues. In this case, the Couple is mostly made to sit together and discuss their issues rationally and maturely with each other. During this phase, both the partners are given a chance to express their concerns, while the other being given a chance to justify those concerns. It is at this phase, where the couple based on understanding each others expectations begin to make slight shifts or adjustments as per the partners needs. The couples themselves find a way forward with the guidance of the counselor.  


In regards to the techniques used, some of the work you do will take place within your counseling sessions themselves - however many couples counselors will also ask you to carry out 'homework and couple work'. Typically your counselor will ask you either to do a task or discuss something specific when you get home. During your next session you will get the chance to talk about your homework, discuss any challenges you came up against and how the experience made you both feel.


In cases where the couple does not have any issues and has come for strengthening their bond, the expectations of each partner is communicated to the other and efforts are made in a direction where both the partners while remaining in their respective comfort zones, are able to make the relationship a happy one.



3. Maintenance Phase


During this phase, the counselor assesses whether the arrangements decided by the couple are being worked upon or not. In cases, where a decided arrangement is not being worked upon, the therapist encourages the couple to find another possible arrangement for the resolution of their concerns. The frequency of sessions is reduced by this phase, and the counselor assesses whether the partners are able to handle the relationship effectively by themselves or not.


Though a common Norm says that marital or couple therapy is only for couples, it is not completely true. Marriage counseling can help couples in all types of intimate relationships — heterosexual or homosexual, married or not.

Some couples seek marriage counseling to strengthen their bonds and gain a better understanding of each other. Marriage counseling can also help couples who plan to get married. Premarital counseling can help couples achieve a deeper understanding of each other and iron out differences before marriage


Frequency, Duration, and Effectiveness

Relationship counseling is often held once per week, but this may vary depending on your therapy goals and may vary depending on the intensity of the situation. 


Duration of Sessions

A typical individual session lasts for 40-50 minutes however, a joint session mostly exceeds 1-1.5 hours.


Efficacy of Marriage therapy

According to research done by the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, families and couples who have attended family or couples therapy sessions indicate high levels of satisfaction. Over 98 percent of those surveyed reported that they received good or excellent couples therapy, and over 97 percent of those surveyed said they got the help they needed. After working with a marriage or family therapist, 93 percent said they had more effective tools for dealing with their problems

Here At, This Marital Counseling Process is available completely online asnd is done by India's best Marital Expert Psychologists. 

Just Click the pink button on the left and Type Hi to Get Started 



How can marriage counseling help couples?

• A motivated couple can begin to explore their problems from a new perspective.

• They can learn new ways to recognize and resolve conflicts as a result of the tools provided by the therapist.

• Partners can improve communication that may have eroded the quality of their interactions. It's common for couples to reach an impasse and lose the ability to be vulnerable and trusting of one another.

• It can provide "neutral territory" to help couples work through tough issues or to put aside "baggage" that prevents the couple from moving on.

• Couples can decide to rebuild their marriage and make a renewed commitment, or clarify the reasons why they need to separate or end the marriage.


Thus, the overall aim of couples counseling is to help one Understand how external factors such as family values, religion, lifestyle and culture affect your relationship, Reflect on the past and how it operates in the present Communicate in a more constructive way. In certain situations, as counseling sessions progress, you and your partner may find a way of overcoming your problems, or you may decide it is time to part ways. Either way, counseling will offer you the space to grow and decide what you would like the future to hold for both of you.

Just click the purple chat button to instantly connect with an epsyclinic psychologist and start marital therapy sessions after discussion



Tags: #marital #discord #counseling #harmony #therapy