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Women living on terms dictated by others are prone to DEPRESSION

18 Nov 2015

Women have always been pushed to status quo citing needs of family, traditions etc... A new age woman who is well read and has aspirations for herself, her relationship can find the disconnect too much...


The following story will give you a complete sense of the scenario.

“I belong to a wonderful family, have lots of friends, have had a few relationships too, I am a successful executive working in a publishing house and totally enjoy my life.

I am also 31 years old, dark skinned and plump and really like to cut my hairs to a pixie cut because I think they look really cute for my dense curly jet black hairs. Now the first thing that probably came to your mind is why am I not married yet? Is it because I am dark and plump? Or is it because I have been focusing on my career too much to start a family which I should be my ultimate destiny?

I would say the answer is yes and no. Yes, my parents have been trying to get me married since I was 26 and not to mention that I have been rejected countless times. Some of them even had a problem with my short hair, some wanted me to quit the job that I love to make children and take care of everyone while some had a problem because I like to read and not cook.

They would often ask, “How will you take care of your family if you work for such long hours?” and my answer would be, “Just like your son will manage.”

And that would be the last time me or my family would hear from them. I had spent months getting depressed.

I had totally lost hope that I would ever get married, make my parents happy and be happy like my sister who has 2 beautiful daughters and is married to a wonderful man who fell in love with her instantly.

But then she is also fair. Ouch! I started doubting my own self, my face and my body and even my job! “Is my job worth all this or should I really start cooking”, I would ask myself.

And the family functions and public gatherings became a menace where Aunties would poke me and ask, “when are you getting married? By age your I already had 2 children!”

Then I thought, having a husband and children and taking care of the in laws who think I am ugly and fat is not worth anything anyway. I realized that the society is a dictator making its own rules for itself. I am different and that doesn’t make me wrong. The society or the models from those advertisements shouldn’t decide what I should be and what I should look like.

I am a strong and independent woman, have a good sense of humour and people who know me love me very much.


Society can reject me for not having great looks, a marriage and so on but it can’t reject my spirit.” ---- Sheetal

The society still decides how a woman’s face and body should be, the age of getting married and the age the woman should become a mother, the food she should eat, the behavior she should display, the job she should have and even what she should do in her spare time. The kind of a wife and daughter in law she should be, she should get up early, she shouldn’t argue are some example of the demands from the society.

This creates immense amount of FRUSTRATION 

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Some common psychological issues faced because of these dictates are:

·Chronic sadness and anxiety


·Low self esteem and self worth

·Low self confidence

·Social withdrawal and isolation

·Eating disorders like bulimia nervosa or anorexia

·Relationship problems

·Work performance deterioration

·Substance abuse

Womanhood can be enjoyed in a lot of ways, it doesn’t always have to be the conventional ways.

If you are being frowned upon for deviating from the societal norms or you are stuck in a marriage or situation where you are not living your life but one forced by others  and this is causing hopelessness then

Following tips will help 

1. Know your strengths and weakness:  No individual is perfect. When the society is pointing out your shortcomings, you can always show your strengths then.

2. Acceptance: If your physical looks or other societal parameters do not comply with the way the society has decided, DON'T BOTHER! 

3. Say no to peer pressure:  Peers and family are the most common source of stress. Be assertive and tell how you are different and happy.

4. Feel good about yourself: The world may say a certain hairstyle or a certain outfit doesn’t look good but if you feel confident and good about it then just go with it. 

5. Be more around the people who understand you: Although you can’t avoid the family functions where your deviance from the societal norms might be questioned, stick around people who respect you for who you are.

6. Be independent: Independence especially about your finances and lifestyle is important. This will boost your sense of self content and confidence. 

7. Take initiative and explore new areas: Just because the society says it is not right, it doesn’t mean it is wrong. As long as it is harmless to anyone or anything and it is interests you, go and explore it. 

8. Seek professional help: If you are struggling and not able to cope up well then you must seek professional help. Counselling psychologists and clinical psychologists help an individual to de-stress, to cope healthily, to become happier and help them in make the right decisions.

Just Click the Chat Now Button on the left and “Type Hi” to connect instantly and privately with an ePsyClinic Psychologist now

About ePsyClinic: We are an Indian health company that is now Asia's largest Online Clinic for Mental, emotional, professional and pregnancy wellness. We have India's top psychiatrists, gynecologists on our panel along with most professionally trained psychologists. Our experts’ receive special training for an effective online management and treatment of various mental health, emotional health, pregnancy health and addiction issues.



Tags: #woman #society