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Sorry but I won't "adjust" in my marriage.

22 Feb 2017

When Arti faced marital problems after 2 years of marriage and wanted her in laws and parents to help, she was told to ‘adjust’. It wasn’t limited to family but later when she got herself a lawyer he gave her the same advice – ‘adjust’.

At one point Arti started to believe that it was her inability to ‘adjust’ with her husband’s abusive behaviour and alcohol problem that has led to a marital discord. She was made to feel that the only thing wrong here was not wanting to ‘adjust’.

Marriage is a lot about making adjustments with your partner- however this hold true mostly for women. They are expected to be the ideal ‘wife’ and ‘daughter in law’. Women are about making adjustment from a very young age. They are expected to make all the efforts to make everyone comfortable and happy. That sure is a huge responsibility! This is also a huge reason for a lot of women undergoing stress.

 

 A woman’s identity is just not that of an "Agyakaari" wife but also a partner.

Arti got married, left behind a family in hopes of more happiness. Afterall people dont make such big decisions to be more unhappy in life.. Do they?

A woman has every right to make her marriage a dream come true. Adjustment is not what you do at home. Home is your place where you can be you! A man's arms are those arms where you get to discover and complete yourself!

How can marriage be about adjusting. Yes it could be about making new joint rules. Creating a life that picks up the best aspects of your individual lives. Ofcourse there will be elements not as great but that is fine as long as the sabotage isnt intentional.

When Arti faced marital problems after 2 years of marriage and wanted her in laws and parents to help, she was told to ‘adjust’. It wasn’t limited to family but later when she got herself a lawyer he gave her the same advice – ‘adjust’.

At one point Arti started to believe that it was her inability to ‘adjust’ with her husband’s abusive behaviour and alcohol problem that has led to a marital discord. She was made to feel that the only thing wrong here was not wanting to ‘adjust’.

Marriage is a lot about making adjustments with your partner- however this hold true mostly for women. They are expected to be the ideal ‘wife’ and ‘daughter in law’. Women are about making adjustment from a very young age. They are expected to make all the efforts to make everyone comfortable and happy. That sure is a huge responsibility! This is also a huge reason for a lot of women undergoing stress.

 A woman’s identity is just not that of an "Agyakaari" wife but also a partner. 

Arti got married, left behind a family in hopes of more happiness. Afterall people dont make such big decisions to be more unhappy in life.. Do they?

A woman has every right to make her marriage a dream come true. Adjustment is not what you do at home. Home is your place where you can be you! A man's arms are those arms where you get to discover and complete yourself! 

How can marriage be about adjusting. Yes it could be about making new joint rules. Creating a life that picks up the best aspects of your individual lives. Ofcourse there will be elements not as great but that is fine as long as the sabotage isnt intentional. 

Adjustment as a word is a negative word. It means you live with things because you dont have access to better ones! Is that what marriage is? 

Should this be what marriage means? 

A woman is supposed to prioritize everything else before herself- everything! Even her own dressing style now has to be approved.... Wow that is definitely tough! 

Imagine men if you cant pick your own shirts and are suddenly asked to wear Lungis in the name of adjustment? 

Imagine if your favorite dish now will not be cooked in months because your wife hates it. 

Imagine if your way of laughing, talking, looking everything can draw remarks at worst and scary looks at best? 

Is that an healthy environment? We bet you would say NO! 

And this is just the tip of the iceberg. Adjustment in India means butchering a woman's identity. THATS HOW IT IS USED!

Depression after marriage is soaring in high numbers thanks to our tradition of changing a woman's complete identity! 

Everything that she learnt along the years either needs to be unlearnt or it would be a point of constant scrutiny!

Ofcourse it will make her hopeless, ofcourse her thoughts can go negative and unfortunately but ofcourse, its a recipe for DEPRESSSION TO SET IN!

So stop!

Stop adjusting, START ACCEPTING!

 

Just Type your message in the "CHAT" button to connect instantly with a psychologist Now at ePsyClinic! 

We have the finest therapy process recognised for its quality and efficacy internally. Never adjust and compromise with  the quality of care you deserve! 

Begin Now

 

A woman is supposed to prioritize everything else before herself- everything! Even her own dressing style now has to be approved.... Wow that is definitely tough!

Imagine men if you cant pick your own shirts and are suddenly asked to wear Lungis in the name of adjustment?

Imagine if your favorite dish now will not be cooked in months because your wife hates it.

Imagine if your way of laughing, talking, looking everything can draw remarks at worst and scary looks at best?

Is that an healthy environment? We bet you would say NO!

And this is just the tip of the iceberg. Adjustment in India means butchering a woman's identity. THATS HOW IT IS USED!

Depression after marriage is soaring in high numbers thanks to our tradition of changing a woman's complete identity! 

Everything that she learnt along the years either needs to be unlearnt or it would be a point of constant scrutiny!

Ofcourse it will make her hopeless, ofcourse her thoughts can go negative and unfortunately but ofcourse, its a recipe for DEPRESSSION TO SET IN!

So stop!

Stop adjusting, START ACCEPTING!

 

IF YOU ARE IN A BAD MARRIAGE, DON'T ADJUST BUT ACCEPT THERE IS A PROBLEM AND BE WILLING TO CHANGE IT!

IF YOU ARE DEPRESSED, DON'T "ADJUST" WITH IT. GET RID OF IT!

ePsyClinic.com is here to help you take control of your life from NOW!

Just Type your message in the "CHAT" button to connect instantly with a psychologist Now at ePsyClinic! 

We have the finest therapy process recognised for its quality and efficacy internationally. Never adjust and compromise with  the quality of care you deserve! 

Begin Now

 

 


Tags: #Adjustment #women #stress #sadness #depression