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Anxiety of losing parents as they slowly age is real!

26 Oct 2015

 You have grown up with your parents, always being besides you. The first time you started walking, the first day at school, the first time you rode the bicycle, your first convocation, your parents were always there to encourgae, support you and be proud of you.


As you go down the memory lane,  It feels like you are watching an emotionally charged happy slide show with all the significant moments of your life associated with your parents. 

But then the real life happens. You find yourself, amidst the real world, dealing with problems by yourself as your parents grow old. It soon becomes your turn to deal with everything because the support needs support now.

It is scary to even think of the day when your mom and dad wont be around you.

As you see your parents grow older, their inevitable ageing processes taking a toll on their physical and mental health, their bodies becoming more and more fragile,  anxiety surges over you in fear of losing your loved one.

You will often find yourself thinking thoughts like, “what will happen to me after my parents?” or “ I can’t imagine my life without them” 


It is quite normal to be concerned over losing a loved one. No one wants unpleasant changes in life. And your parents have been an integral part of your life.

However, in some cases these thoughts of anxiety become so powerful that they become a source of distress and uncontrolled panic.

When the fear of losing a loved one grips you hard, you might feel like the world crashing down. 

Here are some Symptoms of having anxiety due to fear of losing a loved one:

  • Feelings of panic, fear, and uneasiness
  • Problems sleeping
  • Heart palpitations
  • An inability to be still and calm
  • Dry mouth
  • Nausea
  • Muscle tension
  • Numbness or tingling in the hands or feet
  • Cold or sweaty hands and/or feet
  • Shortness of breath
  • Dizziness


It is perfectly alright to be concerned about the wellbeing of your loved one, especially when they are your parent.

But sometimes, this concern can go overboard 

When are your concerns going overboard?

·Feelings of anxiety and panic that becomes automatic and you can’t help them even if you try to stop them.

·You find yourself having irrational fearful thoughts or experience others anxiety symptoms for a significant part of the day.

·You get alarmed even at the slightest sign of ill health of your loved. For example, you get worried on a sneeze or a headache.

·You worries start to affect your own personal and professional lives.

·You invest a lot of energy and time to satisfy your concerns, ignoring your other responsibilities or even your personal hygiene.


Why should you be concerned about being over-concerned about losing a loved one?

·It is costing your own physical and mental health.

·It can be costing your work and personal relationships like marital discord or loss of employment

·It can actually aggravate the situation you are worried about panic and anxiety never helps when you are dealing with a problem.


How to manage your fear and make the best out your time with your loved one?

Acceptance: Ageing is natural and inevitable process. Your parents are growing old and you will too one day. Accept it. There is no point in struggling with the fact that you want them to be around you forever. You can read up some readables on ageing and what should you expect about the process. Accepting this life process is make your life and your parent’s lives much easier.

De stress: Having pre-existing stress will add and get your stressed up for more things. You need to calm down from the core itself. Doing physical activities( gym, yoga, meditation, zumba classes, martial arts etc.), maintaining healthy lifestyle (eating healthy food and taking regular sleep, cutting on caffeine, smoking, alcohol) regular social engagement ( joining a hobby class, meeting a group supporting a cause of your choice, meeting up a relative or friend and so on), have some time for ‘fun and relaxation’(pursuing a hobby, watching television or reading a book, take a warm bath or shower with scented candles, sip on hot chamomile tea, book a spa or massage appointment, play soothing music before you sleep and so on).

Spending ‘happy time’ with your loved one: Instead of freaking out on what may go wrong with your parent, spend the time you have got with your parents with joy. Accompany them to temples or satsang. Ask them about their stories, tell them your stories. You can play board games with them; go on a walk with them every day and so on. You can still create more memories and keep the happy slide show going.   

Seek professional help: Seek help before it is too late. Anxious thoughts may need professional help to alleviate them.

a. Pharmaceutical therapy: Often medical intervention is required to lift your anxious thoughts and calm you down.

b. Therapy and counseling:   Several therapies are available to help with this condition like cognitive behavior therapy, cognitive restructuring etc. Counselling is an effective option to vent out your anxious thoughts and learn to manage your stress and thoughts effectively.


If you are too worried about your parents health and are anxious all the time, you need help

Just click the pink button on the left to consult an "Anxiety"expert at instantly 

About ePsyClinic: We are Asia's largest Online Clinic for Mental, emotional, professional and pregnancy wellness. We have India's top psychiatrists ,gynaecologists on our panel along with most professionally trained psychologists. Our experts receieve special training for an effective online management and treatment of various mental health, emotional health, pregnancy health and addiction issues. 


Tags: #fear #losing #parents #lovedone