Is your child being bullied?
30 Sep 2015
“Every child has the right to personal safety.
Every child has the right to go to school without fear.”
“Sarita doesn’t want to go to school. Sometimes her stomach pains, legs hurt, and at other times she has a headache and nausea.”
“Purab goes to school nurse almost every day. “
“Manju wants to sit with teacher during playtime? She wants to read a book during lunch break?”
If your child is behaving in above manner for more than two weeks, there is a high probability that he/she is being bullied.
He might be teased, called names, laughed at, isolated at playtime, victim of nasty rumors & sarcasm and target of racist remarks in school.
Bullying is willful, conscious desire to hurt, threaten or frighten somebody. It can be via phone calls, direct face to face or cyberbullying (emails, text messages).
Almost half of the children say that they have been bullied in school at some point in their lives. Incidence of bullying decreases with age.
47% at age of 14 report being bullied whereas it comes down to 29% by age of 16.
Bullying can take place in school corridor, bathroom, lunch room or buses during playtime, after school or before school lunch time or class time too.
Why one child does gets bullied and the other doesn’t?
The kids who are shy, introvert, look different in appearance & size, have behavioral or academic problems, or excel in learning, are different due to race/caste/religion get bullied the most. Also if the child has a new school, is in a new play group, new city, chances of being bullied get increased considerably. Sometimes fights amongst friends can lead to isolation and bully as well.
The children with desire to control and have power, who have low communication skills, faulty parental relationships, lack of warmth in family have the desire to control others. They are also mostly low academic achievers.
Bullying has destructive effects:
Lowering of self- esteem, feelings of powerlessness and if persisted for long it can have serious and prolonged distress leading to severe emotional and psychological harm.
Violent behavior and chronic depression is also linked to prolonged bullying in childhood.
Anxiety and depression caused leads to frequent absenteeism from school and hence low academic performance. There can be isolation from social activities and self- harm.
Rita Says “My 9 year old started to show disinterest in school activities. Very unusually, she refused to go to music classes that she loved the most. What struck me most unusual was her being teary eyed at small issues? Finally after 3 weeks of this troubling behavior she broke down and admitted being teased/called names/laughed at/pushed (elbowed) by a group of girls in school.” “It was checked timely with help from school teacher and the counsellor. My daughter got back to her normal self within a week.”
Manju tells: “My 14 year old son became desperate to leave his boarding. First he pretended to be home sick, then headaches and then stomachaches. He refused to go for his favorite school band practice. He started talking about joining family business than pursuing to become a doctor which was his childhood dream.” “we were very troubled till the school counsellor helped us and discovered that our son was being subjected to beating in his boarding in some group display of power.” “The aggressive boys were asked to leave, our son was counselled and thankfully he is back on track today.”
The child being bullied needs understanding, confidence, emotional support and assurance of safety. He/She needs holistic help from parents, teachers and his friends.
As a parent, one needs to be vigilant of changing moods, emotional patterns and behaviors.
Any sudden change in academics, interests and social company has to be noticed carefully.
A timely intervention can surely stop the damage being done and get much needed help to the child. At ePsyClinic, Our Child and Teen wellness experts from accross the world can help your child bounce back and all our consultation, tasks and services are online and can be easily availed from anywhere.
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Tags: #bullying #child