Balancing Work & Baby
17 Aug 2015
An Indian family system is a patriarchal system, where even today it’s believed that the responsibility of raising kids and looking after the house is a mother’s onus. “I” like most women of this generation would disagree. Apart from the house chores and kids, we have a desire to work. Not to compete with our husbands but to seek an identity. Yes my work gives me a different satisfaction and feeling of being complete.
We’ll on saying that we can’t get away from the role we play as a caretaker. So most often we women are faced with a challenge of managing three aspects WORK-FAMILY-BABY. These are not just time consuming but often are exhausting mentally and physically.
Here we would examine and suggest how we could best work around them:
Communicating with your spouse before the baby arrives
It’s very important especially before the baby arrives to have an open discussion on your work, family and child with your family especially with your partner. If you hold your feelings back out of anxiety over being judged or out rightly denied, you could be making a big mistake. Your aspiration will come back to haunt you.
Create your social support
One can plan before the arrival of the child the division of work and get extra help to manage your baby. Extend your support system to include reliable child care or nannies and help from your parents.
Share your responsibility of house and child with your spouse
They may not do it the way you want them but they will get there. Give them a chance.
Have a realistic expectation from your -self
Most often we aim to give our 100% to our work, child and family. But you must realise that, this is not possible. You are likely to hurt your-self and experience a mental fatigue.
Examine the values of your family and set priorities
To be an involved parent necessarily alters the time and attention one can give to one's career. Working moms and dads must make trade-offs based on their personal values. Like "What are their values about family and work? How may they live by those values? Are they willing to trade a less affluent lifestyle for more family time?"
Don’t cheat yourself
Shapiro, who is chairman of the department of counselling psychology at Santa Clara University, says it's crucial to be honest with yourself when setting priorities. "The way to make a huge mistake is to be unaware of your personal values or to fight against them. If you feel your career is No. 1 and your children are No. 2, but you try to force your children into No. 1, it will only make you resent them."
It's also important to realize you don't have to choose a single top priority for all time, Shapiro says. While your children and your career cannot be the top priority simultaneously, they can each have a turn as No. 1. Shapiro says this is the key point for working parents who hope to have it all. "It is impossible to have it all at any one snapshot in time. If you live a reasonably long and good life, you can have it all -- but you can't have it all right now."
Don’t feel guilty
Say ‘no’ at work and home when you can’t. Don’t feel guilty. If you can’t accompany your child to the garden on particular day it “ok”.
Time with spouse
Most often parents ceases to be husband and wife. Satisfaction and time to your being husband and wife is going to make you manage your task of house-family-baby. So go on a date once a while. Keep that connection going, make each other feel special and valued.
Whether your career or your family comes first, both stand to benefit if you can improve your time management skills. This includes becoming more efficient and productive on the job so you can get home on time. Make the most of your office hours so you don’t stretch.
watch over cameras in the child’s room, calendar’s on your smart phone to remind you of doctor’s appointment, to-do-list, online grocery purchase etc. make life easy.
Ensure that you spend quality time with yourself once a while. That could be reading a book, going for a spa, catching up with friends. The laundry can wait a day more. It’s ok!!
Tags: #child #work-load #work #balance #mom