Love our Articles? Be the first one to read our newest Articles.

Why should we Talk about Emotions in the Context of Success?

15 May 2015

We probably know people who are really good listeners, either at work or in our personal lives. They always seem to know what and how to say it so that no one gets offended as they’re caring and considerate, and help us even if we don't find a solution to our problem, making us feel more hopeful and optimistic.

We may know people who master in managing their emotions. They don't get angry in stressful situations. Instead, they have the ability to look at a problem calmly to find a solution. They're excellent decision makers, and they know when to trust their intuition. Regardless of their strengths, they usually look at themselves honestly. They take criticism well, and they know when to use it to improve their performance. People like this have a high degree of emotional intelligence. Thus, ability to express and control our own emotions is important, but so is our ability to understand, interpret, and respond to the emotions of others.


What is Emotional Intelligence?

 "Emotional Intelligence is the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions" (Salovey and Mayor,1990). Each one of us has it, affecting how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions leading to positive results. It comprises of four core skills which made up to two primary competencies; personal and social competencies.

Personal Competencies

Personal competence is one’s ability to stay aware of their emotions and manage behavior and tendencies. Comprised of self-awareness and self-management skills, focusing more on individually than on one’s interactions with other people.

  • Self-Awareness is one’s ability to accurately perceive emotions and stay aware of them as they happen.
  • Self-Management is one’s ability to use awareness of emotions to stay flexible and positively direct behavior.

Social competencies

Social competence is one’s ability to understand other people’s moods, behavior, and motives in order to improve the quality of relationships. It is made up of social awareness and relationship management skills.

  • Social Awareness is one’s ability to accurately pick up on emotions in others’ and understand what is going on.
  • Relationship Management is one’s ability to use awareness of their and others emotions to manage interactions successfully.

Do you have these characteristics of Emotional Intelligence?

Self Awareness

The basis of emotional intelligence is awareness of our own emotions, what causes them, and how we react to them. Individuals who are more aware are able to develop skills that help them manage their own emotions, and they are able to engage their thinking capacity to come up with better decisions. Individuals who react from their emotions without filtering them can severely damage relationships and increase mistrust amongst their staff.

Awareness of Others

The more self-awareness individuals have, the higher will be their awareness of the emotions of others around them. Having an awareness of emotions, how they are created, and how they influence people will allow them to avoid emotions of others, such as anger. Less likely to jump to conclusions or judgment, they are more likely to get to the root of the issue and the cause of strong emotional reactions of others.

Listening Skills

Most people fall into the habit of thinking of a response, while others are speaking instead of active listening. Emotionally strong individuals avoid, realizing that they need to understand not only the content of what others are saying, but also pick up the feelings behind the words that are being spoken. Emotionally intelligent individuals hear their staff and by doing so are able to connect with them on a deeper level.

Awareness of Emotional Atmosphere

Effective individuals are able to pick up the mood and feelings of their work environment. Tuned in emotionally, they are aware of the many factors that can influence the feelings of their employees. Feeling that individuals understand their situation and care about their staff will increase trust, loyalty, and performance from them.

Ability to Anticipate Reactions and Respond Effectively

Emotionally intelligent individuals are able to anticipate how their people are likely to react to situations and don’t wait until the damage is done to respond. Realizing that rumors can quickly spread and causes more damage than the actual event, they rely upon their emotional and social skills to help staff through these times.

Why it’s so important?

How much of an impact does emotional intelligence have on your professional and personal success? The short answer is: a lot! It’s a powerful way to focus your energy in one direction with a tremendous result.  Your emotional intelligence is the foundation for a host of critical skills it impacts mostly everything you say and do each day. Emotional intelligence is the single biggest predictor of performance and the strongest driver of leadership and personal excellence. Thus, it affects:

Physical health: Uncontrolled stress can raise blood pressure, suppress the immune system, increase the risk of heart attack and stroke, and speed up the aging process. The first step to improving emotional intelligence is to learn how to relieve stress.

Mental health: Uncontrolled stress can also impact your mental health, making you vulnerable to anxiety and depression. If you are unable to understand and manage your emotions, you’ll also be open to mood swings, while an inability to form strong relationships can leave you feeling lonely and isolated.

Relationships: By understanding your emotions and how to control them, you’re better able to express how you feel and understand how others are feeling. This allows you to communicate more effectively and forge stronger relationships, both at work and in your personal life.

Performance at work: Emotional intelligence can help you navigate the social complexities at workplace, lead and motivate others, and finally will help you excel in your career. Nowadays, many companies now view emotional intelligence as being as important as technical ability and require EQ testing before hiring.


How to Improve Emotional Intelligence?

Here are certain key tips which would be helpful in improving your emotional intelligence:


Tapping into Emotions: would help you to understand your emotions better. Here are certain tips:

  • Maintain a dairy, note your emotional reactions to events throughout the day and take out time to acknowledge your emotions.
  • Pay attention to your body, start focusing on physical manifestation of your emotions like sadness might feel like heavy limbs, happiness might feel like a racing heart or increased energy.
  • Observe connection between emotions and behavior, or write down how you react when feeling different emotions. For example; feeling angry might lead you to increase your voice.
  • Avoid judging emotions, judging your emotions will inhibit your ability to feel fully, making it more difficult to use your emotions in positive ways. Experience positive emotions; connect your satisfaction or happiness to what’s happening around you which would help you to feel that more often.

Stay cool and manage stress: when under pressure most of us experience increased level of stress in our lives and keeping cool is what works. How does one can keep oneself cool under such circumstances? Tips are given below:

  • If feeling of nervousness or anxiety pops up, try get some fresh air or drink lots of water and if required you can wash your face with cold water, avoid caffeine content.
  • If feeling of sadness or discourage arises try doing some exercise whenever get free time. Breathing exercise would be beneficial too.

You must be wondering whether it would be of help. The answer is Yes it does as been reported by many people.


Avoid/reduce Negative emotions: managing doing so would be helpful and it would not affect our judgment. Here are tips:

  • Avoid jumping to negative conclusion when feel adversely about others behavior. Try and come up with different ways of viewing the situation.
  • Reduce fear of rejection by effectively managing and providing oneself with different options at different situations.


Stay proactive not reactive: Many of us encounter individuals with whom working might get difficult and easily let them affect us and our day. Here are certain tips about how to manage/react in:

  • When you are upset or angry, before reacting take a deep breath and count downwards from 10 to 1 or take out possible time and revisit the issue after calming down.
  • Set consequences an important skill to stand down a difficult individual. Try articulate consequences effectively, give pause to them and compel them to shift from violation to respect.
  • Try to put yourself in another person shoes as it would be helpful in understanding what made that person say what they said.


Be assertive: Set your boundaries so others can understand where you stand. Set your priorities and protect yourself from any duress or harm.

  • Exercise your right to say NO or disagree without feeling guilty. Before directly going and say it on their face you can practice saying it for 5 times in front of mirror.
  • Avoid using sentences starting with “you are, you should, and you need to” as it make less likely for others to be open to what you said.


Bounce back from adversity: Life is not always easy everyone goes from difficult situation or time at least once in their life time. Need to change the way you think, feel, say or act in relation to challenges one encounter. For same;

Ask yourself constructive questions based on your learning and priorities. Higher the quality of questions betters the quality of answers.

Nowadays, there is increase number of research to tell us a persuasive story about the link between a success and the emotional intelligence of individuals. And just as important, research is also demonstrating that people can, if they take the right approach, develop their emotional intelligence.


If you wish to know how emotionally intelligent are you or you wish to work on being emotionally more balanced, look no further than 

Just Click the Pink Chat button on left bottom and Type "EQ" to instantly connect with a emotional intelligence expert psychologist



Tags: #Emotional Intelligence #Emotions #Success